#condoms

Use a condom. The world doesn't need another you. ↗

— Carroll Bryant

#condoms #humorous-comebacks #insult #humor

For if in careless summer days In groves of Ashtaroth we whored, Repentant now, when winds blow cold, We kneel before our rightful lord; The lord of all, the money-god, Who rules us blood and hand and brain, Who gives the roof that stops the wind, And, giving, takes away again; Who spies with jealous, watchful care, Our thoughts, our dreams, our secret ways, Who picks our words and cuts our clothes, And maps the pattern of our days; Who chills our anger, curbs our hope, And buys our lives and pays with toys, Who claims as tribute broken faith, Accepted insults, muted joys; Who binds with chains the poet’s wit, The navvy’s strength, the soldier’s pride, And lays the sleek, estranging shield Between the lover and his bride. ↗

— George Orwell

#condoms #money #poetry #poverty #sex

Stop hiding condoms in my stuff. It's like some twisted Easter egg hunt in there. ↗

— Alyxandra Harvey

#funny #lucy #over-protective #funny

I guess I had it made. My mother gave me advice - she taught me that women like to be looked in the eye - and my grandmother gave me condoms. ↗

— Usher

#condoms #eye #gave #grandmother #guess

There's a new medical crisis. Doctors are reporting that many men are having allergic reactions to latex condoms. They say they cause severe swelling. So what's the problem? ↗

— Phyllis Diller

#cause #condoms #crisis #doctors #having