#sex

My first words, as I was being born [...] I looked up at my mother and said, 'that's the last time I'm going up one of those. ↗

— Stephen Fry

#female-genitalia #homosexuality #humor #mothers #humor

La Maga did not know that my kisses were like eyes which began to open up beyond her, and that I went along outside as if I saw a different concept of the world, the dizzy pilot of a black prow which cut the water of time and negated it. ↗

— Julio Cortázar

#kissing #love #sex #love

One can never "fall" in love, you must rise to it's level of consciousness. Love is not a feeling, it's a state of MIND! ↗

— T.C. Carrier

#black-studies #metaphysics #self-help #sexuality #spirituality

And now you're off to Port Caynn. Watch them sailor lads. They'll have your skirts up and a babe in your belly afore you know what you're about." "Everyone keep warning me about sailors," I complained. "Why can't someone tell the sailors to stay clear of me?" Granny snorted. "Oh, you're the fierce one now! Just take care no one else catches you unawares and knocks you on the nob! ↗

— Tamora Pierce

#grandmother #humor #men #sailors #sex

Don't call a woman a bitch. Call her an ass-hole. It still gets your point across and it's not sexist. ↗

— Eleanor Roosevelt

#sexism #vocabulary #humor

I hated that the soldier doll had my name. I mean, please. I didn't play with him much. He was another Christmas present from my clueless grandparents. One time when they were visiting, my grandpa asked me if G.I. Joe had been in any wars lately. I said, "No, but he and Ken got married last week." Every Christmas since then, my grandparents have sent me a check. ↗

— James Howe

#homosexuality #humor #humor

I'll tell you something. Once I was very fond of a poem by Emily Dickinson or somebody. I only remember one line of it, but it goes, 'The soul selects her own society.' I used to tell it to everybody. Once I quoted it to a friend of mine, and he said, 'Maybe, but the body gets thrown into bed with the goddamnedest people. ↗

— Peter S. Beagle

#humor #sex #humor

All women love semi-rape. They love to be taken.It was his sweet brutality against my bruised body that made his act of love so piercingly wonderful. ↗

— Ian Fleming

#rape #sex #wtf #love

I never asked my mother where babies came from but I remember clearly the day she volunteered the information....my mother called me to set the table for dinner. She sat me down in the kitchen, and under the classic caveat of 'loving each other very, very much,' explained that when a man and a woman hug tightly, the man plants a seed in the woman. The seed grows into a baby. Then she sent me to the pantry to get placemats. As a direct result of this conversation, I wouldn't hug my father for two months. ↗

— Sloane Crosley

#parents #sex #humor

It was like there was some parallel universe we all vanished off to where we had all this sex. ↗

— Kazuo Ishiguro

#kathy #parallel #sex #universe #humor