#de

Lusty blacksmiths and naughty princesses. Now that's scary ↗

— Simon Holt

#funny #simon-holt #the-devouring #funny

Absurdity and anti—absurdity are the two poles of creative energy. ↗

— Karl Lagerfeld

#absurdity #anti-absurdity #art #bi #bipolar

I don't-" I shake my head. (...) "What? What were you going to say?" This is another trick of shrinks. They never let you stop in midthought. If you open your mouth, they want to know exactly what you had the intention of saying. ↗

— Ned Vizzini

#sadness #suicide #therapy #funny

Deliverance is about what I went through the first time. And I chalk it up as a learning experience. ↗

— Bubba Sparxxx

#chalk #deliverance #experience #first #first time

Holly's forgiven you?" "Almost mostly. But she still gives me slack about it when she's sick. I take it as a husbandly badge," he said, puffing out his chest. "Sick? You told me she was fully immortal." "Yeah, but she still throws up some, because, well, the thing of it is... Ah, fuck, Rydstrom, I knocked her up." "You're going to be a father?" Gods help the world. I'm going to be an uncle? "I got Holly, like, on the first shot. Nix is calling me Bull's-eye and the Womb Raider. ↗

— Kresley Cole

#funny #holly-s-pregnancy #kresley-cole #rydstrom #funny

Cordelia!" She staggered to a stop and slowly turned as her father's voice reverberated around the room. "You just accused your brothers of trying to commit murder." "No, Father. From this day forward, Cameron is the only brother I have. If you allow these two to remain in your home after what I have just told you, then I also have no father." "You're as high-spirited and stubborn as your mother. I warned Leigh that he needed to keep a tight rein on you, but he wouldn't listen." "Dallas isn't one to follow in other men's footsteps. Giving him permission to marry me was the finest gift you could have ever given me. ↗

— Lorraine Heath

#lorraine-heath #texas-glory #home

Imperio!” Moody jerked his wand, and the spider rose onto two of its hind legs and went into what was unmistakably a tap dance. Everyone was laughing — everyone except Moody. “Think it’s funny, do you?” he growled. “You’d like it, would you, if I did it to you?” The laughter died away almost instantly. ↗

— J.K. Rowling

#mad-eye-moody #spells #spiders #tap-dance #funny

Eve talking to someone on her computer and having trouble with the language translator. ...."I have two like crimes. Your data and your input on Leclerk would be very helpful" Marie pursed her lips and humor danced in her eyes. "It says you would like to have sex with me. I don't think that is correct" "Oh, for Christ sake" Eve slammed a fist against the machine..... ↗

— J.D. Robb

#death

It's funny how despair can soon become an old companion ↗

— Jacqueline Carey

#funny

Alright, manly man,” he says. “Go prove that you’re a man. ↗

— Jessica Sorensen

#jessica-sorensen #kayden-and-seth #manly-man #funny