#dr

I was doing comedy in laundry mats in 1992, literally where I would bring a little gorilla amp and a lapel mike and just start performing. ↗

— Dane Cook

#bring #comedy #doing #gorilla #i

A certain degree of neurosis is of inestimable value as a drive, especially to a psychologist. ↗

— Sigmund Freud

#certain degree #degree #drive #especially #inestimable

Men are mad most of their lives; few live sane, fewer die so. The acts of people are baffling unless we realize that their wits are disordered. Man is driven to justice by his lunacy. ↗

— Edward Dahlberg

#baffling #die #disordered #driven #few

We dribble away our life, little by little, in small packages - we don't throw it away all at once. ↗

— Robert A. Cook

#dribble #life #little #once #our

Drinking bear is easy. Trashing your hotel room is easy. But being a Christian, that's a tough call. That's rebellion. ↗

— Alice Cooper

#being #call #christian #drinking #easy

Lord Randall barreled inside, brandishing his cane in Drew's face. "You beggarly knave, I was told this marriage was in name only! Who gave you permission to consummate the vows?" "Theodore Hopkin, governor of this colony, representative of the kind, and it's going to cost you plenty, for that daughter of yours is nothing but trouble. What in the blazes were you thinking to allow her an education?" Drew bit back his smile at the man's shocked expression. Nothing like landing the first punch. Lord Randall furrowed his bushy gray brows. "I knew not about her education until it was too late." Drew straightened the cuffs of his shirt. "Well, be prepared to pay dearly for it. No man should have to suffer through what I do with the constant spouting of the most addlepated word puzzles you could imagine." ----------------------------------------- "I require fifteen thousand pounds." Lord Randall spewed ale across the floor. "What! Surely drink has tickled your poor brain. You're a FARMER, you impudent rascal. I'll give you five thousand." Drew plopped his drink onto the table at his side, its contents sloshing over the rim. A satisfied smile broke across his face. "Excellent." He stood. "When will you take her back to England with you? Today? Tomorrow?" The old man's red-rimmed eyes widened. "I cannot take her back. Why, she's already birthed a child!" Drew shrugged. "Fifteen thousand or I send her AND the babe back, with or without you. ↗

— Deeanne Gist

#bride #brides #christian #christian-romance #connie

I have a theory that the secret of marital happiness is simple: drink in different pubs to your other half. ↗

— Jilly Cooper

#drink #half #happiness #i #other

According to the Gallup Poll, 24 percent of American adults exercised regularly in 1961, and 50 percent after 1968. The peak was 59 percent in 1984, dropping off to 51 percent last September. ↗

— Kenneth H. Cooper

#after #american #dropping #exercised #gallup

Police arrested two kids yesterday, one was drinking battery acid, the other was eating fireworks. They charged one and let the other one off. ↗

— Tommy Cooper

#arrested #battery #charged #drinking #eating

My show is constantly evolving... new tricks are added, old ones are dropped... so it stays fresh. But it's the randomly selected participants from the audience that make it fresh and provide some of the best comic relief. ↗

— David Copperfield

#audience #best #comic #comic relief #constantly