#dre

[I] don't think I was trying to kill myself. I just wanted to hurt, and understand exactly whay I was hurting. This made sense: you cut, you felt pain, period. ↗

— Jodi Picoult

#humor #life #humor

I'm sure that you psychotic necro-wannabes with delusions of godhood are all about sharing with your fellow maniacs. ↗

— Jim Butcher

#humor #humor

I guess maybe you don’t get to be the Merlin of the White Council by saving up frequent-flier miles ↗

— Jim Butcher

#humor #humor

How would you like to star in your very own commercial?" "I'd rather swim in battery acid. ↗

— Robin Benway

#humor #wait #young-adult-fiction #humor

Never touch my brother on his fucking birthday. ↗

— Jim Butcher

#humor #thomas-raith #humor

Sebastian it is. You can tell me what a patron saint is later, since I have no knowledge of such things. Sebastian Kane. "Sebastian Kane Cannon. You're going to marry me and use my last name, right?" "Is that supposed to be a proposal? ↗

— Christine Feehan

#children #humor #marriage-proposal #humor

Add children to the list of things I hate. ↗

— Lauren Morrill

#humor #humor

I want to start introducing myself as Elton Mangellica. The name occurred to me while I was daydreaming at 85 MPH. ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#humor #humor

Her chin lifted. "Very well. Here is my best offer. Half of my nakedness for all of yours." He pretended to think on it. " It's a bargain. ↗

— Tessa Dare

#humor #romance #undressing #humor

There's my baby!" I cried, quite carried away, "There's my poochiekins!" ... "Sadie," My dad said firmly, "Please do not refer to the devourer of souls as 'poochiekins'. ↗

— Rick Riordan

#children-s #humor #mythology #serpent-in-the-shadows #humor