#dre

It's important for us to explain to our nation that life is important. It's not only life of babies, but it's life of children living in, you know, the dark dungeons of the Internet. ↗

— George W. Bush

#bushism #children #dungeon #humor #internet

That’s the thing about living vicariously; it’s so much faster than actual living. In a few minutes we’ll be worrying about names for the children. ↗

— Audrey Niffenegger

#humor

Thank God for wisecracks. ↗

— Jim Butcher

#humor #humor

The best thing about my faerie godmother is that the creepy just keeps on coming. ↗

— Jim Butcher

#humor #leanansidhe #humor

Do you have a little white dress? I've had this deep-seated nurse fantasy about you, Murphy. ↗

— Jim Butcher

#humor #karrin-murphy #women #humor

The only bright spot in the entire evening was the presence of Kevin "Tubby" Matchwell, the eleven-year-old porker who tackled the role of Santa with a beguiling authenticity. The false beard tended to muffle his speech, but they could hear his chafing thighs all the way to the North Pole. ↗

— David Sedaris

#christmas #humor #santa #humor

Families is where our nation finds hope, where wings take dream. ↗

— George W. Bush

#dreams

Libations are for the gods. Cocktails are for mere mortals. ↗

— Jonathan Kieran

#blogs #books #goodreads #humor #jonathan-kieran

Don't you make fun of me or my children! Some babies are premature. Mine were all postmature. That's why they're so smart. Their brains had longer to develop. ↗

— Jeannette Walls

#humor #humor

Gerti didn’t ask for help.” Miri swallowed and tried to calm her quavering voice. “It was my fault.” “So it was. Now you all have learned that those who speak out of turn choose punishment for themselves and anyone they speak to.” “So if I speak to you, Tutor Olana, will you get the lashes? ↗

— Shannon Hale

#fantasy #humor #romance #humor