#eating

Why? You want to know why? Step into a tanning booth and fry yourself for two or three days. After your skin bubbles and peels off, roll in coarse salt, then pull on long underwear woven from spun glass and razor wire. Over that goes your regular clothes, as long as they are tight. Smoke gunpowder and go to school to jump through hoops, sit up and beg, and roll over on command. Listen to the whispers that curl into your head at night, calling you ugly and fat and stupid and bitch and whore and worst of all, "a disappointment." Puke and starve and cut and drink because you don't want to feel any of this. Puke and starve and drink and cut because you need the anesthetic and it works. For a while. But then the anesthetic turns into poison and by then it's too late because you are mainlining it now, straight into your soul. It is rotting you and you can't stop. Look in a mirror and find a ghost. Hear every heartbeat scream that everysinglething is wrong with you. "Why?" is the wrong question. Ask "Why not? ↗

— Laurie Halse Anderson

#eating-disorder #school

I lift my arm out of the water. It's a log. Put it back under and it blows up even bigger. People see the log and call it a twig. They yell at me because I can't see what they see. Nobody can explain to me why my eyes work different than theirs. Nobody can make it stop. ↗

— Laurie Halse Anderson

#eating-disorders

The stuffing/puking/stuffing/puking/stuffing/puking didn't make her skinny, it made her cry. ↗

— Laurie Halse Anderson

#eating-disorders

He doesn't see my breasts or my waist or my hips. He only sees the nightmare. ↗

— Laurie Halse Anderson

#eating-disorders #eating-disorders

I knit the afternoon away. I knit reasons for Elijah to come back. I knit apologies for Emma. I knit angry knots and slipped stitches for every mistake I ever made, and I knit wet, swollen stitches that look awful. I knit the sun down. ↗

— Laurie Halse Anderson

#knitting #eating-disorders

I don't just use yarn from a store. I buy old sweaters from consignment shops. The older the better, and unravel them. There are countries of women in this scarf/shawl/blanket. Soon it will be big enough to keep me warm. ↗

— Laurie Halse Anderson

#cold #eating-disorders #warm #eating-disorders

She began to be reassured by these pains, tangible symbols of her success in becoming thinner than anyone else. Her only identity was being "the skinniest." She had to feel it. ↗

— Steven Levenkron

#eating-disorder #skinny #thin #eating-disorders

Everybody's eating all my - brownies, granola, anything you eat cooked, I can find you raw. ↗

— Carol Alt

#cooked #eat #eating #everybody #find

The way you get meaning into your life is to devote yourself to loving others, devote yourself to your community around you, and devote yourself to creating something that gives you purpose and meaning. ↗

— Mitch Albom

#community #creating #devote #get #gives

That by listening to some music, by reading some books, by looking at paintings, and most important by hanging out with one another - by collaborating with one another and creating your own network - you can achieve something that is much better than what is out there. ↗

— David Amram

#another #better #books #collaborating #creating