#knitting

Advice for New Knitters When choosing a pattern, look for ones that have words such as "simple", "basic", and "easy". If you see the words "intriguing", "challenging", or "intricate", look elsewhere. If you happen across a pattern that says "heirloom", slowly put down the pattern and back away. "Heirloom" is knitting code for "This pattern is so difficult that you would consider death a relief". ↗

— Stephanie Pearl-McPhee

#death

Achieving the state of SABLE is not, as many people who live with these knitters believe, a reason to stop buying yarn, but for the knitter it is an indication to write a will, bequeathing the stash to an appropriate heir. ↗

— Stephanie Pearl-McPhee

#knitting #stash #yarn #death

Dear designer of questionable intent, Please send me a photo of yourself. Please be wearing the knitted pants that you designed. It's not that I don't believe that there is anyone out there thing enough to wear horizontally stripped trousers knit from chunky wool, it's just that I would like to know whether you are deliberately cruel or whether you are the one woman these would look really great on. ↗

— Stephanie Pearl-McPhee

#design

Sweaters need to be imagined, dreamed over. ↗

— Stephanie Pearl-McPhee

#knitting #sweaters #dreams

As long as there has been knitting there have been battles about it. There are self-declared "yarn snobs," who frown on using anything but natural fibers; "gauge snobs", who wouldn't be caught dead with chunky yarn; and "experience snobs", who claim you can't declare yourself a real knitter until you abandon novelty yarns. The truth is that the knitting world is a tiny metaphor for the real world. It takes all kinds. I will not allow myself to feel bad if someone disapproves of my knitting. I will also resist the urge to stuff his mailbox full of chunky acrylic fun fur at 3:00 am. ↗

— Stephanie Pearl-McPhee

#experience

Five things I'd rather do than swatch for my new project 1. Get a spinal tap. 2. Scrub the bathtub after all three of my daughters have come home from "Sandbox day" at the park. 3. Babysit two-year-old triplets while simultaneously diffusing a bomb. 4. Bathe a cat. 5. KNIT MY NEW PROJECT. ↗

— Stephanie Pearl-McPhee

#home

I am to be converted to the joys of knitting,' said Mrs. Ali, smiling at the Major. 'My condolences,' he said. ↗

— Helen Simonson

#knitting #humor

If you were ever dumped after knitting a guy a sweater, consider the possibility that the problem was with the sweater, not you. The recipient probably took one look at the thing, imagined a lifetime of having to pretend to like (and wear) this sweater and others of its like, and saw no choice but to flee into the night ↗

— Stephanie Pearl-McPhee

#sweater #yarn #imagination

imagine a scarf as an unlimited canvas ↗

— Stephanie Pearl-McPhee

#yarn #imagination

So this was it. You take a wrong step and you end up wearing yesterday's underwear, sitting on the carpet trying to teach yourself how to knit. And even that doesn't work. She never expected it to be so hard. Life. ↗

— Kate Jacobs

#knitting #life #twenty-something #life