#ect

A blanket might make the ideal politician, because they’re warm, comforting, soft, and easily corruptible.
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— Jarod Kintz

#brick-and-blanket-iq-test #brick-and-blanket-responses #brick-and-blanket-test #brick-and-blanket-uses #funny

A brick could be affixed under one of your shoes, to give your walk a limp that makes people more sympathetic towards you. Gimps get all the girls. 
 ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#brick-and-blanket-iq-test #brick-and-blanket-responses #brick-and-blanket-test #brick-and-blanket-uses #funny

A blanket could be used to represent the Rectangle of Desire. In nine out of ten cases, it was more effective than Viagra. The tenth case was found to contain a lot of cash, and the participant made off with the money without completing the study.
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— Jarod Kintz

#brick-and-blanket-iq-test #brick-and-blanket-responses #brick-and-blanket-test #brick-and-blanket-uses #funny

All the electronic devices are powered by white smoke. When smoke goes out, device is dead. ↗

— Milan Nikolic

#funny #funny

His heart beat so rapidly it might burst; he kept telling himself everything was fine so long as he remained a giraffe. ↗

— Andrew Sturm

#funny #humor #kirkwood #project #funny

Mrs. Lynde says, 'Blessed are they who expect nothing for they shall not be disappointed. ↗

— L.M. Montgomery

#disappointment #expectations #misattributed #l-m-montgomery

What people in the world think of you is really none of your business. ↗

— Martha Graham

#perception #perspective #business

Design in nature is but a concatenation of accidents, culled by natural selection until the result is so beautiful or effective as to seem a miracle of purpose. ↗

— Michael Pollan

#natural-selection #beauty

When you're following your inner voice, doors tend to eventually open for you, even if they mostly slam at first. ↗

— Kelly Cutrone

#challenge #life-lessons #motivation #rejection #business

As an unperfect actor upon the stage Who with much fear is put besides his part Or some fierce thing, replete with too much rage Whose strengths abundance weakens his own heart So I, for fear of trust, forget to say The perfect ceremony of love's rite And in mine own love's strength seem to decay O'ercharged with burthen of my own love's might o, let my books be then the eloquence And dumb presagers of my speaking breast Who plead for love, and look for recompense More than that tongue that more hath express'd. O, learn to read what silent love hath writ To hear with eyes belongs to love's fine wit. ↗

— William Shakespeare

#sonnet #unperfect-actor #love