#ect

A brick could be substituted in for Kansas as a US state, because they’re roughly the same shape, they have the same topography, and I just found Topeka without the aid of a microscope.
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— Jarod Kintz

#brick-and-blanket-iq-test #brick-and-blanket-responses #brick-and-blanket-test #brick-and-blanket-uses #funny

A pastor, a politician, and a brick walk into a bar, and the bartender says, “Sorry, we don’t serve rigid nonthinkers here.” So the brick and the pastor look at the politician, who turns around and leaves.
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— Jarod Kintz

#brick-and-blanket-iq-test #brick-and-blanket-responses #brick-and-blanket-test #brick-and-blanket-uses #funny

A blanket might make the ideal politician, because they’re warm, comforting, soft, and easily corruptible.
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— Jarod Kintz

#brick-and-blanket-iq-test #brick-and-blanket-responses #brick-and-blanket-test #brick-and-blanket-uses #funny

A brick could be affixed under one of your shoes, to give your walk a limp that makes people more sympathetic towards you. Gimps get all the girls. 
 ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#brick-and-blanket-iq-test #brick-and-blanket-responses #brick-and-blanket-test #brick-and-blanket-uses #funny

A blanket could be used to represent the Rectangle of Desire. In nine out of ten cases, it was more effective than Viagra. The tenth case was found to contain a lot of cash, and the participant made off with the money without completing the study.
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— Jarod Kintz

#brick-and-blanket-iq-test #brick-and-blanket-responses #brick-and-blanket-test #brick-and-blanket-uses #funny

All the electronic devices are powered by white smoke. When smoke goes out, device is dead. ↗

— Milan Nikolic

#funny #funny

His heart beat so rapidly it might burst; he kept telling himself everything was fine so long as he remained a giraffe. ↗

— Andrew Sturm

#funny #humor #kirkwood #project #funny

Mrs. Lynde says, 'Blessed are they who expect nothing for they shall not be disappointed. ↗

— L.M. Montgomery

#disappointment #expectations #misattributed #l-m-montgomery

What people in the world think of you is really none of your business. ↗

— Martha Graham

#perception #perspective #business

Design in nature is but a concatenation of accidents, culled by natural selection until the result is so beautiful or effective as to seem a miracle of purpose. ↗

— Michael Pollan

#natural-selection #beauty