#ed

I got Oedipus off the incest charge--technicality, of course--he didn't know it was his mother at the time. ↗

— Jasper Fforde

#oedipus #humor

I really am disappointed when I run into people who are angry I'm leaving office. ↗

— Matt Gonzalez

#angry #disappointed #i #into #leaving

I have a map of the United States... Actual size. It says, 'Scale: 1 mile = 1 mile.' I spent last summer folding it. I hardly ever unroll it. People ask me where I live, and I say, 'E6. ↗

— Steven Wright

#map #united-states #humor

Her heart pounded as the door lifted and Hunter got out dressed in faded jeans, a gray and black v-neck sweater, and a black leather jacket, the man was drop-dead stunning. And that deadly stagger of his made her weak in the knees. "Oh baby," she heard Tammy whisper as he came around the car. Hunter stopped in front of Amanda and raked a hungry look over her body. "Hi, luscious," he said in that deep, evocative voice. "Sorry I'm late." Before Amanda knew what he was doing, he pulled her into his arms and gave her a sizzling hot kiss. Her body burned in response to his tongue tasting hers as he fisted his hands against her back. Then, he dipped down and picked her up in his arms. "Hunter!" she gasped as he carried her effortlessly toward the car. He gave her that devilish tight-lipped smile. His midnight eyes were warm and alive with humor and hunger. With the toe of his boot, he opened the passenger-side door and set her inside. He retrieved her briefcase and purse from the sidewalk where she had dropped them and handed them to her. Then, he turned and gave a knowing smile to Cliff. "You really have to love a woman who lives to see you naked. ↗

— Sherrilyn Kenyon

#kyrian #naked #humor

It's a very complicated issue about when is a fact not a fact in the context of opinions. ↗

— Daniel Okrent

#complicated #context #fact #issue #opinions

Adrian had always found it amusing that a guy could be drilling Stacia up her ass while she considered herself to be a virgin. Her intent had been to present herself as such when she found "Mr. Right. ↗

— Jess C. Scott

#anal-sex #bdsm #bodies #body #bondage

You may marry Miss Grey for her fifteen pounds but you will always be my Willoughby. My nightmare. My sorrow. My past. My mistake. My regret. My love. ↗

— Shannon L. Alder

#love #unrequited-love #humor

It's not fair that there aren't very many juicy or varied roles for women. ↗

— Rosanna Arquette

#juicy #many #not fair #roles #varied

...Usually i’d sit back and just enjoy the view for what it was because it’s not often you come across something so ridiculously out of place, a girl like you, on the subway, it’s like spotting a unicorn at the zoo. I reasoned how to pull this off, to get you, to say hi, to ask your name, what your voice sounded like, if you had a cute smile because i like cute smiles. In ten minutes I had a thousand thoughts of you and you had no clue..." by - http://excerpts.thempyreco.com/unicorn/ ↗

— Stephan K. Garcia

#love #romance #unrequited-love #humor

You look tired," Rachel told Jason. "I wish I could jog and sleep at the same time." "Can't you?" Ferrin asked, joining them at the little cascade. "I always imagined that you could sleep rolling down a mountainside in a barrel." "I probably could today," Jason conceded. ↗

— Brandon Mull

#humor #mull #rebellion #seeds #sleep