#ed

On the theft of his material by Denis Leary: "I have a scoop for you. I stole his act. I camouflaged it with punchlines, and to really throw people off, I did it before he did. ↗

— Bill Hicks

#comedy

To Fred, those years seemed to pass like quickly skimming a book and then finding the ending wasn't what he expected. He wished he'd paid more attention to the story. ↗

— Sarah Addison Allen

#magic-realism #thriller #comedy

I'm going to hell, ahhhhh ... but you're laughing, so you're coming ↗

— Dane Cook

#comedy

Just as he reached for my neck, I tased him. I was there to bag and tag, not to kill. Besides, if I had to carry separate weapons for every paranormal I took out, I'd be dragging around a full luggage set. Tasers are a one-size-fits-all paranormal butt-kicking option. Mine's pink with rhinestones. Tasey and I have had a lot of good times together. ↗

— Kiersten White

#ya-fantasy #ya-urban-fantasy #young-adult-comedy #young-adult-fantasy #young-adult-urban-fantasy

I was just thinking... isn't it lucky that we decided to become co-editors? If one takes a blow to the head, the other can fill in. If the other's lung spontaneoulsy collapses, the one can fill in. It's a perfect system once you think about it." ~Will Landsman ↗

— Gabrielle Zevin

#comedy #head #memoirs-of-a-teenage-amnesiac #spontaneous #comedy

If you don't know, the thing to do is not to get scared, but to learn. ↗

— Ayn Rand

#shrugged #learn

Rose," Alberta said, leaning toward me. "I'm going to be blunt with you. I'm not going to give you lectures or demand any explanations. Honestly, since you aren't my student anymore, I don't have the right to ask or tell you anything." "You can lecture," I told her. "I've always respected you and want to hear what you have to say." The ghost of a smile flashed on her face. "All right, here it is. You screwed up." "Wow. You weren't kidding about bluntness." "The reasons don't matter. You shouldn't have left. You shouldn't have dropped out. Your education and training are too valuable—no matter how much you think you know—and you are too talented to risk throwing away your future." I almost laughed. "To tell you the truth? I'm not sure what my future is anymore." "Which is why you need to graduate." "But I dropped out." She snorted. "Then drop back in!" "I—what? How?" "With paperwork. Just like everything else in the world. ↗

— Richelle Mead

#rose-hathaway #education

Whoever controls the media, controls the mind ↗

— Jim Morrison

#media #thinking #control

If you start to revise before you've reached the end, you're likely to begin dawdling with the revisions and putting off the difficult task of writing. ↗

— Pearl S. Buck

#writing-craft #writing-craft

The greatest tragedy that can befall a man is never to know who he really is. ↗

— James Carlos Blake

#self-knowledge #tragedy #first-sentence