#elation

One minute she acts like she wants to be with me and I'm the one rejecting her. The next, she's got this barbed wire fence and barking dogs around her, like I can't even ask her the simplest questions." "And here I was assuming you didn't care about her." Stabbing his fingers through his hair, he groaned, "I don't!" "And you make it perfectly clear." Men. Idiots. ↗

— Jennifer Armintrout

#love #men-and-women #relationships #humor

Elizabeth Bennet, will you do me the great honor of not going to prom with me? ↗

— Elizabeth Eulberg

#humor #prom #relationships #humor

You can get away with saying much more with humor than you can with a straight face ↗

— Sherry Argov

#love #relationships #humor

And what the fuck were you doing parading around in those jeans and that shirt last—” “Parading?” “You are not allowed to put on your fuck-me clothes if I ain’t there to do the fucking! ↗

— Mary Calmes

#humor

Normally writers do not talk much,because they are saving their conversations for the readers of their book- those invisible listeners with whom we wish to strike a sympathetic chord. ↗

— Ruskin Bond

#humor

I can't seem to fathom that the things important to me are not important to other people as well, and so I come off sounding like a missionary, someone whose job it is to convert rather than listen. ↗

— David Sedaris

#humor

If you want to dance the dance then you better learn the steps, the world has enough pretenders. If you want to practice sex then you better find a partner, and to love you must surrender. ↗

— Carroll Bryant

#life-and-living #love #relationship #romantic #humor

Our children will be smart AND beautiful. ↗

— Leonard Hofstadter

#beauty

I help others because I can, not because I expect something in return. ↗

— Amy Manemann

#mystery-suspense #relationships #humor

People aren't truly evolving, they're just mastering new and cyber-sanctioned ways to get what they want. ↗

— Jessa Callaver

#humor