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David Sedaris

Read through the most famous quotes from David Sedaris

Everyone looks retarded once you set your mind to it.

— David Sedaris

#perception #retardation #humor

I haven't the slightest idea how to change people, but still I keep a long list of prospective candidates just in case I should ever figure it out.

— David Sedaris


We were not a hugging people. In terms of emotional comfort it was our belief that no amount of physical contact could match the healing powers of a well made cocktail.

— David Sedaris

#alcohol #drinking #emotion #humor #humor

If you aren't cute, you may as well be clever.

— David Sedaris


When shit brings you down, just say 'fuck it', and eat yourself some motherfucking candy.

— David Sedaris


If you read someone else's diary, you get what you deserve.

— David Sedaris

#journals #justice #justice

Shit is the tofu of cursing and can be molded to whichever condition the speaker desires. Hot as shit. Windy as shit. I myself was confounded as shit...

— David Sedaris

#shit #swearing #tofu #desire

All of us take pride and pleasure in the fact that we are unique, but I'm afraid that when all is said and done the police are right: it all comes down to fingerprints.

— David Sedaris

#individuality #fact

Sometimes the sins you haven't committed are all you have left to hold onto.

— David Sedaris


I hate you' she said to me one afternoon. 'I really, really hate you.' Call me sensitive, but I couldn't help but take it personally.

— David Sedaris

#hate #sensitive #funny

About David Sedaris

David Sedaris Quotes

Did you know about David Sedaris?

Sedaris was raised in a suburb of Raleigh North Carolina. Sedaris and his sister Amy shared "The Talent Family" credit on the latter's short-lived sketch comedy show Exit 57 while David was a contributing writer.

Much of Sedaris's humor is autobiographical and self-deprecating and often concerns his family life his middle-class upbringing in the suburbs of Raleigh North Carolina Greek heritage jobs education drug use obsessive behaviors and his life in France London and the South Downs. He publiDavid Sedarisd his first collection of essays and short stories Barrel Fever in 1994. In 2010 he released a collection of anthropomorphic stories Squirrel Seeks Chipmunk: A Modest Bestiary.

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