#files

You're a cop. I need a doughnut. ↗

— Jim Butcher

#humor #stereotype #humor

Thomas barked out a laugh. "There are seven of us against the Red King and his thirteen most powerful nobles, and it's going well?" Mouse sneezed. "Eight," Thomas corrected himself. He rolled his eyes and said, "And the psycho death faerie makes it nine." "It is like movie," Sanya said, nodding. "Dibs on Legolas. ↗

— Jim Butcher

#change

Do you really think anyone needs some kind of notarized statement saying 'Dear Saint Peter, here's another stiff, pass him through the gates, signed, Father McGonnigill.'...'PS: He once had a hot dog on a Friday, but don't hold that against him.' ↗

— P. N. Elrod

#funerals #lady-crymsyn #religion-philosophy #vampire-files #death

Booya!" I shouted in pure triumph, the adrenaline turning my manly baritone into a rather terrified-sounding shriek. "What have you got for fiery beams of death, huh? You got nothing for fiery beam of death! Might as well go back to Atari, bug-boy, 'cause you don't got game enough for me! ↗

— Jim Butcher

#change

I did the only thing any reasonable wizard could have done. I turned around and ran like hell. ↗

— Jim Butcher

#wizard #death

If you turn into a hideous monster and I am sent to slay you, I will remember this and make it as painless as I can, out of respect for you. ↗

— Jim Butcher

#funny #humor #lol #sanya #the-dresden-files

This creature serves you?" Sanya asked. "This one and about a hundred smaller ones. And five times that many part-timers I can call in once in awhile." I thought about it. "It isn't so much that they serve me as that we have a business arrangement that we all like. They help me out from time to time. I furnish them with regular pizza." "Which they...love," Sanya said. Toot spun in a dizzy, delighted circle on one heel, and fell onto his back with perfectly unself-conscious enthusiasm, his tummy sticking out as far as it could. He lay there for a moment, making happy, gurgling sounds. "Well," I said. "Yes." Sanya's eyes danced, though his face was sober. "You are a drug dealer. To tiny faeries. Shame. ↗

— Jim Butcher

#business

Hell's bells," I snarled, taking an involuntary step back. "Right here? Now? You could have given me a couple of minutes to get clear, dammit." "And what fun would that be?" Maeve asked, pushing out her lower lip in a pout. "I am who I am, too. I love violence. I love treachery. I love your pain - and the best part, the part I love most, is that I am doing it for your own good." Her eyes gleamed white all the way around her irises. "This is me being one of the good guys. ↗

— Jim Butcher

#love

Fire isn't always an element of destruction. Classical alchemical doctrine teaches that it also has dominion over another province: change. ↗

— Jim Butcher

#change #dresden-files #fire #change

I am somewhat proud of this," Mab's cold voice said. "To be sure, the White Christ never suffered so long or so terribly as did this traitor. Three days on a tree. Hardly enough time for a prelude. When it came to visiting agony, the Romans were hobbyists. ↗

— Jim Butcher

#change