#go

I poured spot remover on my dog. Now he's gone. ↗

— Steven Wright

#dog #gone #i #now #poured

I had to stop driving my car for a while... the tires got dizzy. ↗

— Steven Wright

#dizzy #driving #got #had #i

In Vegas, I got into a long argument with the man at the roulette wheel over what I considered to be an odd number. ↗

— Steven Wright

#considered #got #i #into #long

I play the harmonica. The only way I can play is if I get my car going really fast, and stick it out the window. ↗

— Steven Wright

#fast #get #going #harmonica #i

If God dropped acid, would he see people? ↗

— Steven Wright

#dropped #god #people #see #would

If you were going to shoot a mime, would you use a silencer? ↗

— Steven Wright

#mime #shoot #use #were #would

I watched the Indy 500, and I was thinking that if they left earlier they wouldn't have to go so fast. ↗

— Steven Wright

#fast #go #i #indy #indy 500

I went to the bank and asked to borrow a cup of money. They said, "What for?" I said, "I'm going to buy some sugar." ↗

— Steven Wright

#bank #borrow #buy #cup #going

Everybody has a different definition of the good side. ↗

— Will Wright

#different #everybody #good #side

I typically go overboard when I research new projects. ↗

— Will Wright

#i #new #new projects #overboard #projects