#gr

Ooh, you look much tastier than Crabbe and Goyle, Harry" said Hermione, before catching sight of Ron's raised eyebrows, blushing slightly and saying "oh you know what I mean - Goyle's Potion looked like bogies. ↗

— J.K. Rowling

#hermione-granger #humor #polyjuice-potion #ron-weasley #taste

I’ll make Goyle do lines, it’ll kill him, he hates writing,” said Ron happily. He lowered his voice to Goyle’s low grunt and, screwing up his face in a look of pained concentration, mimed writing in midair. “I . . .must . . . not . . . look . . . like . . . a . . . baboon’s . . . backside. ↗

— J.K. Rowling

#detention #gregory-goyle #humor #punishment #ron-weasley

Xander: To read makes our speaking English good. ↗

— Ashley Gable

#grammar-humor #humor #language #humor

He was painfully shy, which, as is often the manner of the painfully shy, he overcompensated for by being too loud at the wrong times. ↗

— Neil Gaiman

#humor #humor

It was Will who broke the silence. “Very well. You have me alone in the corridor—” “Yes, yes,” said Tessa impatiently, “and thousands of women all over England would pay handsomely for the privilege of such an opportunity. Can we put aside the display of your wit for a moment? This is important. ↗

— Cassandra Clare

#tessa-gray #will-herondale #humor

What’s your name, then? ”Tessa looked at him in disbelief. “What’s my name?” “Don’t you know it? ↗

— Cassandra Clare

#tessa-gray #will-herondale #humor

Tessa knows Will,” protested Charlotte. “She trusts Will.” “Iwouldn’t go that far,” muttered Tessa. ↗

— Cassandra Clare

#tessa-gray #will-herondale #humor

What the semicolon's anxious supporters fret about is the tendency of contemporary writers to use a dash instead of a semicolon and thus precipitate the end of the world. Are they being alarmist? ↗

— Lynne Truss

#english-language #grammar #humor #lynne-truss #punctuation

What do you think dignity's all about?' The directness of the inquiry did, I admit, take me rather by surprise. 'It's rather a hard thing to explain in a few words, sir,' I said. 'But I suspect it comes down to not removing one's clothing in public. ↗

— Kazuo Ishiguro

#honor #humor #integrity #respect #symbolism

You sure are a sweet girl, Scout. I'm half tempted to keep you." "Ummm... Thanks?" Knowing she was a potential Alpha I worried about what "keeping me" might entail. Probably chains. And whips. And maybe a dog collar. And now I was going to have to live with scary Fifty Shades Aunt Rachel pictures living in my head for all time. ↗

— Tammy Blackwell

#funny-quotes #funny