#grave

You arrogant...” thrust through the stomach of a snapping zombie, twisting and using all my strength to cleave him in half “... over published...” wasn't going to work, it clawed at the blade, and my God, these things were tough, “...showy old bat...” Crack! There went my head into the wall. If I didn't have a split skull, I'd be amazed. “What are you waiting for? Aren't you the king of all bogeymen? The legend children fear will devour them if they don't behave?” “Come on, Vlad, live up to your reputation! If you can't burn to death one Egyptian vampire chained to a wall, how did you ever drive the Turks from Romania?” “You did it!” “Of course, I'm Vlad Tepesh, what did you expect? ↗

— Jeaniene Frost

#cat #kitten #night-huntress #vlad #vlad-tepesh

If I weren't already dead, I'd have to kill myself just so I could roll over in my grave. ↗

— D.J. MacHale

#grave #humor #death

I am one pair of roses away from the grave,” I told the midget with the twelve-inch erection. It wasn’t his—he was just holding it for a friend (that impressive penis belonged to a much taller man). Ah, but that’s life, no?
 ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#death #erection #grave #life #midget

He spake well who said that graves are the footprints of angels. ↗

— Henry Wadsworth Longfellow

#death #death-angel #footprints #gravestone #death

If flowers were boogers, I'd pick a few big ones and flick them on your grave. ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#death #flowers #funny #grave #death

He bombarded me with words, of all things, apparently clueless to the fact that the predawn hours rendered me incapable of coherent thought. ↗

— Darynda Jones

#first-grave-on-the-right #funny #funny

Blasted grave marker. There sure are a bloody lot of them. They've got some nerve burying all these dead people here. ↗

— Tess Oliver

#humor #humor

Graveyards were the one place Belladonna never saw ghosts. ↗

— Helen Stringer

#graveyards #humor #humor

When the body escaped mutilation, seldom did the heart go to the grave unscarred. ↗

— Virginia Woolf

#death #grave #heart #death

Late Fragment And did you get what you wanted from this life, even so? I did. And what did you want? To call myself beloved, to feel myself beloved on the Earth. ↗

— Raymond Carver - from his grave marker

#life