#grave

If I weren't already dead, I'd have to kill myself just so I could roll over in my grave. ↗

— D.J. MacHale

#grave #humor #death

I am one pair of roses away from the grave,” I told the midget with the twelve-inch erection. It wasn’t his—he was just holding it for a friend (that impressive penis belonged to a much taller man). Ah, but that’s life, no?
 ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#death #erection #grave #life #midget

As they prepared themselves to go ashore no one doubted in theory that at least a certain percentage of them would remain on the island dead, once they set foot on it. But no one expected to be one of these. Still it was an awesome thought and as the first contingents came struggling up on deck in full gear to form up, all eyes instinctively sought out immediately this island where they were to be put, and left, and which might possibly turn out to be a friend's grave. ↗

— James Jones

#death #disembarkation #friends #graves #guadalcanal

He spake well who said that graves are the footprints of angels. ↗

— Henry Wadsworth Longfellow

#death #death-angel #footprints #gravestone #death

My father was English. He date-raped my mother so she's hated English men ever since. You know my boyfriend's English, and I'm, uh, I'm half-English, which she's never been real happy about. If she finds out I'm dating someone English, she'll ah, think I' turning my back on her and becoming a foreigner.' Cathy, that's the stupidest reason I've ever heard. ↗

— Jeaniene Frost

#cat #english #grave #halfway #dating

Within its gates I heard the sound Of winds in cypress caverns caught Of huddling tress that moaned, and sought To whisper what their roots had found. (“A Dream of Fear”) ↗

— George Sterling

#graveyard #horror #scary #supernatural #trees

I have them a few minutes to absorb everything while I teased Ubie, who only had to recover from his near-death experience. I was so glad Reyes hadn't ripped him to shreds. I liked him much better un-shredded. Unlike, say, my preference for lettuce or heavy metal guitar solos. ↗

— Darynda Jones

#fourth-grave-beneath-my-feet #death

I have seen him set fire to his wigwam and smooth over the graves of his fathers... clap his hand in silence over his mouth, and take the last look over his fair hunting ground, and turn his face in sadness to the setting sun. ↗

— George Catlin

#face #fair #fathers #fire #graves

If flowers were boogers, I'd pick a few big ones and flick them on your grave. ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#death #flowers #funny #grave #death

Insanity does NOT run in my family. It strolls through, takes it's time, and gets to know everyone personally - T-Shirt ↗

— Darynda Jones

#family