#midget

Wearing a turtleneck is like being strangled by a really weak guy, all day. Wearing a backpack and a turtleneck is like a weak midget trying to bring you down. ↗

— Mitch Hedberg

#backpack #being #bring #day #down

If you hit a midget on the head with a stick, he turns into 40 gold coins. ↗

— Patton Oswalt

#gold #head #hit #into #midget

If you want a midget to look like a baby, don't put a cigar in his mouth. ↗

— Chuck Jones

#cigar #his #like #look #midget

I long for your love like the length of a midget. ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#humor #love #midget #age

A brick could be used as crib K, if you simply rearrange the letters. And what’s in cribs A-J? Well, with the exception of one sleeping midget, the cribs contain babies, of course. 
 ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#babies #baby #brick-and-blanket-test #brick-and-blanket-uses #crib

Love is like learning to ride a midget, which I’ve never done because I’m afraid of heights. ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#funny #humor #love #midget #age

I assure you that the training that you get in a midget, in a sprint car and perhaps in a Silver Crown car is really the kind of experience that makes you into a damn good race driver. ↗

— Rodger Ward

#car #crown #damn #driver #experience

I consider seeing my 30th birthday an accomplishment. You know, not many midgets live to be this tall.
 ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#birthday #birthdays #funny #height #humor

I had such plans for this evening. The pursuit of blind drunkenness and wayward women was my goal. But alas, it was not to be. No sooner had I consumed my third drink in the Devil than I was accosted by a delightful small flower selling child who asked me for twopence for a daisy. The price seemed steep, so I refused. When I told the girl as much, she proceeded to rob me.” “A little girl robbed you?” Tessa said. “Actually, she wasn’t a little girl at all, as it turns out, but a midget in a dress with a penchant for violence, who goes by the name of Six-Fingered Nigel. ↗

— Cassandra Clare

#will #wit #goals

They say a midget standing on a giant's shoulders can see much further than the giant. So I got the whole rap world on my shoulders, they trying to see further than I am. ↗

— Jay-Z

#further #giant #got #i #i am