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Patton Oswalt

Read through the most famous quotes from Patton Oswalt

I had a romance novel inside me, but I paid three sailors to beat it out of me with steel pipes.

— Patton Oswalt

#gender #humor #masculinity #romance #romance-novels

Zombies can't believe the energy we waste on nonfood pursuits.

— Patton Oswalt


I want to experience as many different tastes, sights, emotions, conflicts, and cultures as possible, so that I can expand the canvas of my memory and enrich my comedy.

— Patton Oswalt

#experience #experience

Cheap liquor is a magic potion that can turn you into a puppet cowboy before it kills you.

— Patton Oswalt

#liquor #humor

People will find transformation and transcendence in a McDonald's hash brown if it's all they've got.

— Patton Oswalt

#inspirational #transcendence #inspirational

Its gaze unlocked a room in my nightmares which should have remained closed.

— Patton Oswalt


hobos' (a slang term that combines the words 'hope' and 'bowl of beans given to me for free by a woman who then initiated intercourse')

— Patton Oswalt

#satire #humor

Eight people show up. The emcee is warm, friendly, and about as funny as Shoah. I take the stage to the sound of, my hand to God, one person clapping once and only once, and then I start into my act.

— Patton Oswalt

#hand-to-god #patton-oswalt #shoah #stand-up #funny

I have some shorter stories coming out in other books early next year. I might be pitching a re-vamp of Ghost Rider in the spring. We'll see.

— Patton Oswalt

#coming #early #ghost #i #might

I hate all sidekicks.

— Patton Oswalt


About Patton Oswalt

Patton Oswalt Quotes

Did you know about Patton Oswalt?

He is also on a split EP called Patton vs. It was also referenced by Katt Williams in the opening act of The Comedy Central Roast of Flavor Flav. He also provides the voice of ThraPatton Oswaltr a robot protagonist from the new Cartoon Network show Robotomy.

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