#birthday

As I approach my 88th birthday, it's become apparent to me that my eyes and ears, among other appurtenances, aren't quite what they used to be. The prospect of long flights to wherever in search of whatever are not quite as appealing. ↗

— Mike Wallace

#apparent #appealing #approach #become #birthday

My happiest memory of childhood was my first birthday in reform school. This teacher took an interest in me. In fact, he gave me the first birthday presents I ever got: a box of Cracker Jacks and a can of ABC shoe polish. ↗

— Flip Wilson

#birthday #box #childhood #cracker #ever

I’m reminded of Orville Tethington, inventor of the world’s first steam-powered fog machine. He’s also the guy who, after the Germans invented the flame thrower in WWI, decided to counteract it with his own creation, the candle thrower. The candle thrower was only battle tested once, and after fifteen minutes the war zone was littered with lit candles. Upon returning home after the war, some of the soldiers suffered such extreme and bizarre cases of PTSD that anytime a civilian lit a match or used their lighter, the soldiers would hit the ground and start singing “Happy Birthday. ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#birthday #funny #humor #ptsd #soldiers

I’ll be 30 in March, and it feels just like yesterday that I thought tomorrow will soon be today. ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#birthday #funny #humor #funny

On a royal birthday every house must fly a flag, or the owner would be dragged to a police station and be fined twenty-five rubles. ↗

— Mary Antin

#dragged #every #flag #fly #house

I was nine minutes late for my last birthday party. And I was nine months on time for my first birthday. 
 ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#birthday #birthday-party #life #party #life

My heart is like a singing bird Whose nest is in a water'd shoot; My heart is like an apple-tree Whose boughs are bent with thick-set fruit; My heart is like a rainbow shell That paddles in a halcyon sea; My heart is gladder than all these, Because my love is come to me. Raise me a daïs of silk and down; Hang it with vair and purple dyes; Carve it in doves and pomegranates, And peacocks with a hundred eyes; Work it in gold and silver grapes, In leaves and silver fleurs-de-lys; Because the birthday of my life Is come, my love is come to me. ↗

— Christina Rossetti

#life

It is a peculiarity of knitters that they chronically underestimate the amount of time it takes to knit something. Birthday on Saturday? No problem. Socks are small. Never mind that the average sock knit out of sock-weight yarn contains about 17,000 stitches. Never mind that you need two of them. (That's 34,000 stitches, for anybody keeping track.) Socks are only physically small. By stitch count, they are immense. ↗

— Stephanie Pearl-McPhee

#knitting #stitches #time #yarn #meditation

With my daughter, we do arts and crafts, we read a lot, we listen to music, and we cut the strings off balloons and bounce them around after birthday parties. ↗

— Lisa Loeb

#around #arts #balloons #birthday #bounce

Brilliantly lit from stem to stern, she looked like a sagging birthday cake. ↗

— Walter Lord

#brilliantly #cake #like #lit #looked