#birthday

Birthday Soup is good to eat, but not as good as Birthday Cake. ↗

— Else Holmelund Minarik

#cake #food #soup #food

I cried on my 18th birthday. I thought 17 was such a nice age. You're young enough to get away with things, but you're old enough, too. ↗

— Liv Tyler

#age #away #cried #enough #get

As I approach my 88th birthday, it's become apparent to me that my eyes and ears, among other appurtenances, aren't quite what they used to be. The prospect of long flights to wherever in search of whatever are not quite as appealing. ↗

— Mike Wallace

#apparent #appealing #approach #become #birthday

I’m reminded of Orville Tethington, inventor of the world’s first steam-powered fog machine. He’s also the guy who, after the Germans invented the flame thrower in WWI, decided to counteract it with his own creation, the candle thrower. The candle thrower was only battle tested once, and after fifteen minutes the war zone was littered with lit candles. Upon returning home after the war, some of the soldiers suffered such extreme and bizarre cases of PTSD that anytime a civilian lit a match or used their lighter, the soldiers would hit the ground and start singing “Happy Birthday. ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#birthday #funny #humor #ptsd #soldiers

It is lovely, when I forget all birthdays, including my own, to find that somebody remembers me. ↗

— Ellen Glasgow

#birthdays #find #forget #i #including

Our birthdays are feathers in the broad wing of time. ↗

— Jean Paul

#birthdays #broad #feathers #our #time

The accumulation of birthdays is the leading cause of death in the United States and other large land masses. Now while that may not be 100% accurate, it is at least 88% accurate. Actually, the last sentence itself might not have been 100% accurate, but I’m 88% sure it was. Maybe I should just brush up on fractions and percentages before making statements that are liable to hurt the funeral industry, because if birthdays aren’t killing people then it’s bad for the mortality business. And if you can’t trust somebody to die, then you can’t trust somebody. But I’m somebody you can trust. I’m at least 88% trustworthy, at least 88% of the time. 
 ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#accurate #birthday #death #die #fractions

Death did this to people: making cowards, scapegoats, preachers and mourners of the living; while the dead – ignoble or not – became objects of respect for achieving something before the rest of us. ↗

— Meghna Pant

#meghna-pant #death

I don’t like to celebrate my birthday, because I don’t like taking credit for others’ work—in this case, my mom and dad. Or possibly my mom and the mailman.
 ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#celebrate #celebration #credit #dad #family

The best birthday present I ever got from my grandpa was a skinny black tie. It didn’t come in a bag, a box, or even rolled up in tissue paper. It came wrapped in wisdom. As soon as he gave it to me he said, “A tie would make a stronger impression on your boss if you used it as a blindfold and kidnapped him. That‘s why I bought you a black one. ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#blindfold #funny #kidnapped #wisdom #funny