#birthday

Link says if a girl says not to get her a birthday present that means get me a birthday present and make sure it’s jewelry. ↗

— Kami Garcia

#gift #jewelry #present #beauty

The event happened on my birthday. I don’t remember the date, I only know it was my birthday because there was no cake or presents.
 ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#cake #event #forget #memory #presents

The value of me is equal to 5097033198, but also 3051982. The first is my phone number, and the second is my birthday. I assign values to people. My fifth grade bus driver had a Cheeto factor of four. ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#funny #phone-number #value #equality

My girlfriend just bought me a portable toaster. And my birthday’s coming up, so I’m half expecting her to buy me a portable bathtub to go along with it. ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#electrocution #funny #funny

My birthday is on a holiday, I just have to wait until I die and they commemorate me. ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#commemorate #death #holiday #humor #immortalize

Glen had a disability more disfiguring than a burn and more terrifying than cancer. Glen had been born on the day after Christmas. "My parents just combine my birthday with Christmas, that's all," he explained. But we knew this was a lie. Glen's parents just wrapped a couple of his Christmas presents in birthday-themed wrapping paper, stuck some candles in a supermarket cake, and had a dinner of Christmas leftovers. ↗

— Augusten Burroughs

#christmas #humor #humor

Better to have to retrace your steps and then move forward than never to move forward at all. ↗

— Anne Burack Sayre

#birthday #children-s #delightful #elementary-school #funny

The more you praise and celebrate your life, the more there is in life to celebrate. ↗

— Oprah Winfrey

#celebrate #life #more #praise #you

I count too heavily on birthdays, though I know I shouldn't. Inevitably I begin to assess my life by them, figure out how I'm doing by how many people remember; it's like the old fantasy of attending your own funeral: You get to see who your friends are, get to see who shows up. ↗

— Lorrie Moore

#life

Birthdays are nature's way of telling you to eat more cake. ↗

— Jo Brand

#cakes #indulging #nature