#gross

I am in suspense as to the probable or improbability of being called into the Army, a station I would prefer to any other that of being in arms to defend an injured and grossly insulted country. ↗

— John Sevier

#any #arms #army #being #called

Lawyers claim that their clients have been grossly mistreated, which is what criminal defense lawyers are paid to do. ↗

— Kenneth Starr

#claim #clients #criminal #defense #grossly

It was a different planet in 1967, the Broadway theatre. It had a little ashtray clamped to the back of every seat and the author got 10% of the gross. ↗

— Tom Stoppard

#author #back #broadway #different #every

They eat the dainty food of famous chefs with the same pleasure with which they devour gross peasant dishes, mostly composed of garlic and tomatoes, or fisherman's octopus and shrimps, fried in heavily scented olive oil on a little deserted beach. ↗

— Luigi Barzini

#chefs #composed #dainty #deserted #devour

There you go. Perfect. And can you still throw up at will like you could in sixth grade? That would be good. ↗

— Adam Rex

#gross #age

Revel in grossness. Leave food in your teeth. Proudly display feminine hygiene products. ↗

— Jennifer Ziegler

#food #funny #gross #food

Victor eyed the glistening tubes in the tray around Dibbler's neck. They smelled appetizing. They always did. And then you bit into them, and learned once again that Cut-me-own-Throat Dibbler could find a use for bits of an animal that the animal didn't know it had got. Dibbler had worked out that with enough fried onions and mustard people would eat anything. ↗

— Terry Pratchett

#gross #humor #food

I am, he thought dimly, watching a vampire take a piss. ↗

— Stephen King

#gross #vampire #funny

She shuddered. “What is it with slobbery kissers? Are they trying to drown us in spit? I mean, Jesus, swallow every now and then. ↗

— Tammara Webber

#gross #kissing #laugh-out-loud #funny

That's brain tissue. How can you-?" Claire shut her mouth, fast. "Never mind. I don't think I wanna know." "Truly, I think that's best. Please take it." He showed his teeth briefly in a very unsettling grin. "I'm giving you a piece of my mind." "I so wish you hadn't said that. ↗

— Rachel Caine

#humor #vampires #humor