#guide

Somewhere in the cosmos, he said, along with all the planets inhabited by humanoids, reptiloids, fishoids, walking treeoids and superintelligent shades of the color blue, there was also a planet entirely given over to ballpoint life forms. And it was to this planet that unattended ballpoints would make their way, slipping away quietly through wormholes in space to a world where they knew they could enjoy a uniquely ballpointoid lifestyle, responding to highly ballpoint-oriented stimuli, and generally leading the ballpoint equivalent of the good life. And as theories go this was all very fine and pleasant until Veet Voojagig suddenly claimed to have found this planet, and to have worked there for a while driving a limousine for a family of cheap green retractables, whereupon he was aken away, locked up, wrote a book and was finally sent into tax exile, which is the usual fate reserved for those who are determined to make fools of themselves in public. ↗

— Douglas Adams

#biro #hitchhikers-guide-to-the-galaxy #hitchiker #humor #pens

Emma was doing something nice for Simon? Hell must be enjoying the snow day. ↗

— E.J. Stevens

#fiction #humorous #mystery #mystery-series #paranormal

[Or perhaps my friends should have realized that they shouldn't have left behind the FRICKING REASON FOR THEIR PROTEST! And that thought just cracked me up.] It was like my friends had walked over the backs of baby seals in order to get to the beach where they could protest against the slaughter of baby seals. ↗

— Sherman Alexie

#dark-humor #funny #irony #misguided-protest #protest

Make no excuses for the devils that will not excuse you of their burdens, Miss Crane." - Darien Nicodemeus; Chapter Sixteen - The Giant's Return ↗

— S.C. Parris

#excuses #inspirational #lillith-crane #the-immortal-s-guide #vampires

The Bible, as a revelation from God, was not designed to give us all the information we might desire, nor to solve all the questions about which the human soul is perplexed, but to impart enough to be a safe guide to the haven of eternal rest. ↗

— Albert Barnes

#bible #designed #desire #enough #eternal

I have but one lamp by which my feet are guided, and that is the lamp of experience. ↗

— Patrick Henry

#feet #guided #i #lamp #which

For only as we ourselves, as adults, actually move and have our being in the state of love, can we be appropriate models and guides for our children. What we are teaches the child far more than what we say, so we must be what we want our children to become. ↗

— Joseph Chilton Pearce

#appropriate #become #being #child #children

I think FoxNews ratings are a reliable guide to the attitudes of the American electorate. ↗

— Reese Schonfeld

#attitudes #electorate #guide #i #i think

Dreams are what guide us, art is what defines us, math is what makes it all possible, and love is what lights our way. ↗

— Mike Norton

#art #aspiration #aspirations #define #destiny

When used as a tool, fear will enhance your preparedness; when used as a guide, it will stop your progress. ↗

— Steve Maraboli

#guide #life #progress #tool #experience