#guide

I will go around the space shuttle and give a guided tour of the major areas and describe what is done in each area. This will be called The Ultimate Field Trip. ↗

— Christa McAuliffe

#areas #around #called #describe #done

Extreme nationalism and Bolshevism have broken up the old world, a new world is in the making. It is literally true that old things are passing away; all things may become new, granted we have wise, unselfish, and determined guides. ↗

— John Raleigh Mott

#away #become #bolshevism #broken #determined

Tradition is a guide and not a jailer. ↗

— W. Somerset Maugham

#jailer #tradition

The fact is that camels are far more intelligent than dolphins. They are so much brighter that they soon realised that the most prudent thing any intelligent animal can do, if it would prefer its descendants not to spend a lot of time on a slab with electrodes clamped to their brains or sticking mines on the bottom of ships or being patronized rigid by zoologists, is to make bloody certain humans don't find out about it. So they long ago plumped for a lifestyle that, in return for a certain amount of porterage and being prodded with sticks, allowed them adequate food and grooming and the chance to spit in a human's eye and get away with it. ↗

— Terry Pratchett

#dolphins #hitchhiker-s-guide-to-the-galaxy #humor #pratchett #pyramids

Hooking on scuba gear and blindly diving into zombie-infested water is a wonderful way to mix the two childhood terrors of being eaten and drowning. ↗

— Max Brooks

#the-zombie-survival-guide #zombies

So it’s fate then?” I asked with him so close my lips brushed the line of his jaw with each word, “Us being together?” “Absolutely,” Calvin said with a low growl. Then he lifted my chin, tilting my head back, and kissed me deeply. Who was I to argue with Fate? ↗

— E.J. Stevens

#paranormal-romance #romance #she-smells-the-dead #spirit-guide-series #supernatural

Somewhere in the cosmos, he said, along with all the planets inhabited by humanoids, reptiloids, fishoids, walking treeoids and superintelligent shades of the color blue, there was also a planet entirely given over to ballpoint life forms. And it was to this planet that unattended ballpoints would make their way, slipping away quietly through wormholes in space to a world where they knew they could enjoy a uniquely ballpointoid lifestyle, responding to highly ballpoint-oriented stimuli, and generally leading the ballpoint equivalent of the good life. And as theories go this was all very fine and pleasant until Veet Voojagig suddenly claimed to have found this planet, and to have worked there for a while driving a limousine for a family of cheap green retractables, whereupon he was aken away, locked up, wrote a book and was finally sent into tax exile, which is the usual fate reserved for those who are determined to make fools of themselves in public. ↗

— Douglas Adams

#biro #hitchhikers-guide-to-the-galaxy #hitchiker #humor #pens

Emma was doing something nice for Simon? Hell must be enjoying the snow day. ↗

— E.J. Stevens

#fiction #humorous #mystery #mystery-series #paranormal

Let the spirits guide you, but never let them take you. ↗

— E.J. Stevens

#mystery #mystery-series #paranormal #paranormal-fiction #paranormal-romance

[Or perhaps my friends should have realized that they shouldn't have left behind the FRICKING REASON FOR THEIR PROTEST! And that thought just cracked me up.] It was like my friends had walked over the backs of baby seals in order to get to the beach where they could protest against the slaughter of baby seals. ↗

— Sherman Alexie

#dark-humor #funny #irony #misguided-protest #protest