#h

Reality is a crutch for people who can't cope with drugs. ↗

— Lily Tomlin

#humor

Do you see that out there? The strange, unfamiliar light? It's called the sun. Let's go get us a little. ↗

— Nora Roberts

#sun #sunlight #humor

Not to sound, you know, like a dick," Jack said carefully. "But you just dragged us out of bed to show us Jane's messy room? That's not really an emergency Mae." "She's not here!" Mae shouted, gesturing to the mess around her. "That's the emergency."  "Again, not to be a dick, but that's not really an emergency." Jack said. ↗

— Amanda Hocking

#jack #mae #my-blood-approves #humor

Ninja chicken isn't he?" You grinned at me, rolling your sleeves up."We'll see about that." You reached into the cage. Instantly Dick was onto your hand, clawing at you, biting chunks with his beak. "Godamn rooster! ↗

— Lucy Christopher

#rooster #humor

Hate people on an individual basis only - you must actually get to know someone at least slightly before you can properly hate him or her. ↗

— Jill Conner Browne

#prejudice #humor

What happened to your face?' he asked. 'When I was little, my grandmother was making candles and she had a big vat of hot beeswax in the backyard,' she said. 'I walked into the vat.' Usually that ended the conversation. 'I don't remember it,' she added. 'How old were you?' he asked. She tilted her face slightly, watching him. 'Ten months.' 'You were walking at ten months?' he asked. 'Not very well, apparently,' she said dryly. ↗

— Caragh M. O'Brien

#humor

Taylor Markham," said Raffaela, "I'm going to say a prayer for you." And although I wanted to mock her and explain I didn't believe in anything or anyone, I realised that no one had ever prayed for me before. So I let her. ↗

— Melina Marchetta

#humor

Because she deserved more than me. She deserved someone who could give her the whole universe. ↗

— Jacqueline Rayner

#love #mickey #rose-tyler #love

he wanted to do, to be, to feel- and could not; he wanted sense, he wanted purpose- in Freud's words, 'Work and Love'. ↗

— Oliver Sacks

#love

Having a relationship and not even a sexual one is so straight, it's practically perverted. ↗

— Sarra Manning

#sex #love