#he

So what if those stupid roosters don't want to crow? If we've learned to live without men, we can learn to live without cocks. ↗

— James Cañón

#humor #james-cañón #magic-realism #mariquita #tales-from-the-town-of-widows

She warned me about Mr. Herondale, though, said he’d likely be rude to me, and familiar. She said I could be rude right back, that nobody would mind.” “Someone ought to be rude to him. He’s rude enough to everyone else. ↗

— Cassandra Clare

#tessa-gray #will-herondale #humor

Mr. Branwell and Mr. Carstairs seem to have no problem cleaning their boots,” Sophie said, looking darkly from Will to Tessa. “Perhaps you could learn from their example.” “Perhaps,” said Will. “But I doubt it.” Sophie scowled, and started off along the corridor again, her shoulders tightly set with indignation. Tessa looked at Will in amazement. “What was that?” Will shrugged lazily. “Sophie enjoys pretending she doesn’t like me.” “Doesn’t like you? She hates you! ↗

— Cassandra Clare

#sophie #tessa-gray #will-herondale #humor

I would be lying if I said I didn't get a kick out of the assignment. Here I am, a "troubled youth," and my self-chosen treatment is to become a stalker. Okay, not stalker. Research Analyst. ↗

— Lindsey Leavitt

#humor #lindsey-leavitt #research #sean-griswold-s-head #stalker

I'm an orphan!" Constance cried gleefully. "I'm an orphan!" ~ The Prisoner's Dilemma ↗

— Trenton Lee Stewart

#the-mysterious-benedict-society #humor

I have been to the speed of God, sir...and I discommend it. ↗

— John Ringo

#humor #micheal-o-neil #science-fiction #humor

This boy was so far out of my league it was embarrassing. I found myself staring at him, trying to find some minute flaw that might justify dragging him back to my level. Finding nothing, I decided that having a dimple on only one cheek was practically a deformity. ↗

— G.J. Walker-Smith

#perfection #saving-wishes #humor

I think I found my soulmate. Only someone like me can plague me beyond my limits. ↗

— Jaf Liethers

#jaf-liethers #quote #soulmates #humor

The guards had asked the Doctor to please wait in the hallway until Mr McCavity had time to see him. So it seemed only polite, the Doctor thought, to wait until they had gone before he wandered off to explore the house. ↗

— Justin Richards

#humor #the-doctor #humor

Anyone that looked like that wouldn't need to tie up girls and imprison them in order to get them to marry him ↗

— Cassandra Clare

#tessa-gray #will-herondale #young-adult #humor