#hea

Never try to understand the students. They hate it. They would much rather be tragically misunderstood, wallow in self-pity, stew in their own —” “That’s enough, Phineas,” said Dumbledore. ↗

— J.K. Rowling

#headmasters #principals #students #funny

Instead of finding himself in nerd heaven- where every nerd gets fifty-eight virgins to role-play with- he woke up in Robert Wood Johnson with two broken legs and a separated shoulder, feeling like, well, he'd jumped off the New Brunswick train bridge. ↗

— Junot Díaz

#heaven #nerd #suicide #virgin #funny

Cordelia!" She staggered to a stop and slowly turned as her father's voice reverberated around the room. "You just accused your brothers of trying to commit murder." "No, Father. From this day forward, Cameron is the only brother I have. If you allow these two to remain in your home after what I have just told you, then I also have no father." "You're as high-spirited and stubborn as your mother. I warned Leigh that he needed to keep a tight rein on you, but he wouldn't listen." "Dallas isn't one to follow in other men's footsteps. Giving him permission to marry me was the finest gift you could have ever given me. ↗

— Lorraine Heath

#lorraine-heath #texas-glory #home

The year 2000 came from heaven, and so did my new mullet. ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#heaven #mullet #year- #funny

I am proud of my kids, but I also want to make my mom proud of me. I'm still a momma's girl at the heart of the situation. ↗

— Tori Spelling

#am #girl #heart #i #i am

When he talked his eyes went away from mine and then he forced himself to look straight at me and he began to explain and I knew that he felt very strange with me and that he hated me, and it was funny sitting there and talking like that, knowing he hated me. ↗

— Jean Rhys

#funny

There's nothing quite as funny as someone else's misery - Cassel Sharpe ↗

— Holly Black

#fiction #funny

Then he made one last effort to search in his heart for the place where his affection had rotted away, and he could not find it. ↗

— Gabriel Garcí­a Márquez

#love #love

If a potato can produce vitamin C, why can't we? Within the animal kingdom only humans and guinea pigs are unable to synthesize vitamin C in their own bodies. Why us and guinea pigs? No point asking. Nobody knows. ↗

— Bill Bryson

#supplements #trivia #vitamin-c #home

For we have thought the longer thoughts And gone the shorter way. And we have danced to devils' tunes, Shivering home to pray; To serve one master in the night, Another in the day. ↗

— Ernest Hemingway

#home