#hey

They say it figures MTV would do such a vulgar, awful, horrible show and they completely miss that it's satirizing the people who watch MTV. ↗

— Mike Judge

#completely #figures #horrible #miss #mtv

They say a midget standing on a giant's shoulders can see much further than the giant. So I got the whole rap world on my shoulders, they trying to see further than I am. ↗

— Jay-Z

#further #giant #got #i #i am

When you say "I wrote a program that crashed Windows," people just stare at you blankly and say "Hey, I got those with the system, for free." ↗

— Linus Torvalds

#free #got #hey #i #just

Twitter is so short, it's safe. I don't want my bosses to be like, 'Hey, your script is due and we saw you wrote four blog pages.' ↗

— Mindy Kaling

#bosses #due #four #hey #i

I don't know anyone who actually likes the dark or night-time. I don't care how much they say it doesn't bother them. That's why we used to huddle in caves and light fires when the sun went down. ↗

— Paul Kane

#anyone #bother #care #caves #dark

Hey, you must be doin' good, 'cause I never hear from you. ↗

— Elia Kazan

#doin #good #hear #hey #i

Incongruity, they say, is one of the main ingredients of humor. Maybe it's because everybody can feel superior to me. I honestly don't know. ↗

— Emmett Kelly

#everybody #feel #honestly #humor #i

You know what they say about Chicago. If you don't like the weather, wait fifteen minutes. ↗

— Ralph Kiner

#chicago #fifteen #fifteen minutes #know #like

Hey, it isn't bad that I look young. ↗

— Ashley Tisdale

#hey #i #look #young

They say it's good but I didn't know what I was doing until I got into the suit and they put the moustache on me, and somehow, when I got all the drag on, it came out. It was the most amazing thing. I'm truly extraordinary. ↗

— Harvey Korman

#amazing thing #came #doing #drag #extraordinary