#hi

Dude, your girlfriend is so far past high maintenance even the janitor quit. ↗

— Samantha Young

#high-maintenance #humor #humor

Will I have to use a litter box?" --Emma to Max after he just explained she'll be turning into a puma shifter The Wallflower (Halle Pumas Book 1) ↗

— Dana Marie Bell

#shapeshifter #humor

Liberals feel unworthy of their possessions. Conservatives feel they deserve everything they've stolen. ↗

— Mort Sahl

#deserve #everything #feel #liberals #possessions

Victory is everything. You can spend the money but you can never spend the memories. ↗

— Ken Venturi

#memories #money #never #spend #victory

Safari, so goody. ↗

— Winston Churchill

#humor #pun #humor

Everybody has a right to be defended, and every lawyer has a duty to defend people accused. And my office is to defend him, to discuss the accusation point by point, as I think this is a normal step in a democracy. ↗

— Jacques Verges

#accused #defend #defended #democracy #discuss

I wonder what all those Chinese poets sound like in Chinese. I like their distilled quality. ↗

— Tom Verlaine

#distilled #i #i wonder #like #poets

My motto for fashion: If you can’t afford to make an elegant statement, make a ridiculous one. ↗

— Stacey Jay

#humor #humor

While Coach Hedge was having dinner on the foredeck, a wild pegasus appeared from nowhere,stampeded over the coach’s enchiladas, and flew off again, leaving cheesy hoof prints all across the deck. “What was that for?” the coach demanded. ↗

— Rick Riordan

#coach #humor #pegasus #humor

Of course, tax revenues have ended up being substantially higher than they were at the time these dire projections were made, and we are very close now to having a balanced budget. All that has been very helpful. ↗

— Charles Vest

#balanced budget #been #being #budget #close