#hips

I had a dream about you. You glued a fake beard on a mannequin and had it running a monetary printing press nonstop, and you planned on creating dollar bills forever, or until you devalued it to the point where savings were destroyed, lives devastated, and you continued laughing all the way to the bank, which you owned.
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— Dark Jar Tin Zoo

#dreams #funny #humor #life #relationships

I had a dream about you last night.. You pretended not to be a three hole punch. ↗

— Amy Summers

#dreams #funny #humor #life #relationships

I had a dream about you. We couldn't decide on a sunrise. You wanted a tan, I only cared about the view. Then World War III fulfilled both our desires. ↗

— Bauvard

#dreams #funny #humor #life #relationships

I had a dream about you. You suggested to split the profits, so I did. I threw one half in the furnace to power the steam engine, and the other half in the air to distract our pursuers. ↗

— Bauvard

#dreams #funny #humor #life #relationships

I had a dream about you. You were wearing Sylvester Stallone's sneer as pants, but his lips were saggy on your legs, so you had to wear a mustache as a belt.
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— Dora J. Arod

#dreams #funny #humor #life #relationships

I had a dream about you last night.. You were playing with chicken livers and told me everyone was in quarantine. ↗

— Amy Summers

#dreams #funny #humor #life #relationships

I had a dream about you last night... You replaced all the people in your life with kittens. It felt more like a prediction of the future. ↗

— Amy Summers

#dreams #funny #humor #life #relationships

I had a dream about you last night... shortly after I woke up screaming in terror. ↗

— Amy Summers

#dreams #funny #humor #life #relationships

I had a dream about you where you were an economic hero. So is the real life you like the dream you? Answer this question: If Paul Krugman and Ben Bernanke were about to die, and they only had 59 seconds left, and you could only save one, would you take a minute to think it over?

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— Jarod Kintz

#dreams #funny #humor #life #relationships

I had a dream about you. We were in a band. I was the lead singer, guitar player, saxophonist, harpist, violinist, bassist, cellist, harmonica player, pianist, and drummer. Oh, and I played the trumpet. And you, you had the important role—you played air guitar. I feel this dream accurately reflects me as an unselfish person, willing to stand in the shade so someone else might enjoy the spotlight and get all the glory. 
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— Jarod Kintz

#dreams #funny #humor #life #relationships