#hit

Major: you have the honor to report that the numbers of men now under your command qualifies you for promotion to colonel. But you ask me to believe that your regiments assaulted Rebel forces in a pitched battle of over two hours duration, all the while steadily employing the heavy field pieces recently shipped to you, without one single battle death on either side. Sir, that is not warfare. That is fraternization with the enemy! ↗

— Donald Harington

#architecture

You’re being nicer to me than I've been to you lately," I said. "Yes, I am. But then, Hitler was nicer to Poland than you've been to me lately. ↗

— Molly Ringle

#friendship #hitler #niceness #friendship

Being dead wasn't supposed to hurt. Where was the fairness in that? If I was dead, the least the universe could do was make it painless ↗

— Kiersten White

#funny #kiersten-white #paranormalcy #funny

Hey, princess of Popsicles! Queen of curlicue cones. ↗

— Wendy Higgins

#funny #jay #sweet-evil #funny

What on earth would I do if four bears came into my camp? Why, I would die of course. Literally shit myself lifeless. ↗

— Bill Bryson

#attack #bear #camp #camping #funny

I tended to hate people that hit me in the head without warning. ↗

— Amanda Hocking

#funny #hit #wisdom #funny

Now I know this is going to seem counter to every instinct that you have, but I'm going to ask you to sit still, or I'll put you in the trunk. ↗

— Anna White

#funny #humour #jack #jack-to-samara #samara

The stag’s enormous head turned slightly—toward the wagon, toward the small window. The Lord of the North. So the people of Terrasen will always know how to find their way home, she’d once told Ansel as they lay under a blanket of stars and traced the constellation of the stag. So they can look up at the sky, no matter where they are, and know Terrasen is forever with them. ↗

— Sarah J. Maas

#lord-of-the-north #terrasen #white-stag #home

I've been accused of vulgarity. I say that's bullshit. ↗

— Mel Brooks

#humor #profanity #shit #vulgarity #humor

If we were to hit the level that Metallica or somebody like that hit, we'd have had a hard time dealing with it. I think it would have been our doom. It's hard for anybody at that level. ↗

— Jerry Only

#been #dealing #doom #had #hard