#hors

You never want to look in a mirror," Lula said. "Men love mirrors. They look at themselves doing the deed and they see Rex the Wonder Horse. Women look at themselves and think they need to renew their membership at the gym. ↗

— Janet Evanovich

#humor #mirror #sex #humor

Alright. You hate me, I'm not too fond of you. It's mutual..." he muttered, walking hesitantly toward the stallion, hand outstretched, "I know you want to bite my hand off, but I swear I have no carrots, so you have no excuse. You want to throw me when I get on you...but if you even try, I will stab you. ↗

— Shanda Sharlow

#horse #humor #humor

My Aunt Dahlia, who runs a woman's paper called Milady's Boudoir, had recently backed me into a corner and made me promise to write her a few words for her "Husbands and Brothers" page on "What the Well-Dressed Man is Wearing". I believe in encouraging aunts, when deserving; and, as there are many worse eggs than her knocking about the metrop, I had consented blithely. But I give you my honest word that if I had had the foggiest notion of what I was letting myself in for, not even a nephew's devotion would have kept me from giving her the raspberry. A deuce of a job it had been, taxing the physique to the utmost. I don't wonder now that all these author blokes have bald heads and faces like birds who have suffered. ↗

— P.G. Wodehouse

#humor #writing #humor

Most horses don't walk backwards voluntarily, because what they can't see doesn't exist. ↗

— Terry Pratchett

#humor #humor

Those who get in the way of love's path will be kicked by horses. ~Kyoya ↗

— Bisco Hatori

#japanese #love #manga #violence #love

I'm about to commence four years of obeying the cause of a bruiser on a horse. I refuse to put down what might be the last book I see for months. ↗

— Tamora Pierce

#horses

There is something about the outside of a horse that is good for the inside of a man. ↗

— Winston Churchill

#horses

If you want to be a good saddler, saddle the worst horse; for if you can tame one, you can tame all. ↗

— Socrates

#saddler #socrates #tame #horses

And yes, I came over here fully intending to seduce you." He lifted his head and whispered in my ear, "It's what I'm good at. Just like you're good at evading demons and kicking ass." "Kicking ass?" I questioned as he dropped his head back to the arm of the couch. His hand was exploring again, and I didn't want to move. "Yeah," he said, and I jumped as he found a ticklish spot. "I like a woman who takes care of herself." "Not much of a white knight on a horse, huh?" He raised one eyebrow. "Oh, I could," he said. "But I'm a lazy son of a bitch. ↗

— Kim Harrison

#rachel #horses

The Lord's mercy often rides to the door of our heart upon the black horse of affliction. ↗

— Charles H. Spurgeon

#cross-bearing #mercy #trials #horses