#horse

There is a lot of folklore about equestrian statues, especially the ones with riders on them. There is said to be a code in the number and placement of the horse's hooves: If one of the horse's hooves is in the air, the rider was wounded in battle; two legs in the air means that the rider was killed in battle; three legs in the air indicates that the rider got lost on the way to the battle; and four legs in the air means that the sculptor was very, very clever. Five legs in the air means that there's probably at least one other horse standing behind the horse you're looking at; and the rider lying on the ground with his horse lying on top of him with all four legs in the air means that the rider was either a very incompetent horseman or owned a very bad-tempered horse. ↗

— Terry Pratchett

#horses #humor #statues #humor

You never know how a horse will pull until you hook him to a heavy load. ↗

— Paul Bryant

#heavy load #him #hook #horse #how

Industry is a better horse to ride than genius. ↗

— Walter Lippmann

#genius #horse #industry #ride #than

Horses and mules, and even sail cars, made more rapid progress than did the earliest locomotive. ↗

— John Moody

#did #earliest #even #horses #locomotive

As a little girl I used to daydream about my real father coming on a white horse to rescue me. ↗

— Christine Keeler

#about #coming #daydream #father #girl

Horses are of a breed unique to Fantasyland. They are capable of galloping full-tilt all day without a rest. Sometimes they do not require food or water. They never cast shoes, go lame or put their hooves down holes, except when the Management deems it necessary, as when the forces of the Dark Lord are only half an hour behind. They never otherwise stumble. Nor do they ever make life difficult for Tourists by biting or kicking their riders or one another. They never resist being mounted or blow out so that their girths slip, or do any of the other things that make horses so chancy in this world. For instance, they never shy and seldom whinny or demand sugar at inopportune moments. But for some reason you cannot hold a conversation while riding them. If you want to say anything to another Tourist (or vice versa), both of you will have to rein to a stop and stand staring out over a valley while you talk. Apart from this inexplicable quirk, horses can be used just like bicycles, and usually are. Much research into how these exemplary animals come to exist has resulted in the following: no mare ever comes into season on the Tour and no stallion ever shows an interest in a mare; and few horses are described as geldings. It therefore seems probable that they breed by pollination. This theory seems to account for everything, since it is clear that the creatures do behave more like vegetables than mammals. Nomads appears to have a monopoly on horse-breeding. They alone possess the secret of how to pollinate them. ↗

— Diana Wynne Jones

#horses #humor #food

I was at the pinnacle of my career one day and the next day I was put out to pasture. I felt like a race horse with a broken leg. ↗

— Jack Klugman

#career #day #felt #horse #i

You've got to stop whipping a dead horse sometime. ↗

— Jim Knight

#dead horse #got #horse #sometime #stop

Race horses are like golfers, you're never sure how they're going to come out of the stalls. It's just - hopefully the horses come out of the race all right, just fit and ready to go again in the near future, but 3rd was good. It's paid for its hay. ↗

— Lee Westwood

#come #fit #future #go #going

But in the east the sky was pale and through the gray woods came lanterns with wagons and horses, bringing Grandpa and Grandma and aunts and uncles and cousins. ↗

— Laura Ingalls Wilder

#bringing #came #cousins #east #grandma