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In another Christmas story, Dale Pearson, evil developer, self-absorbed woman hater, and seemingly unredeemable curmudgeon, might be visited in the night by a series of ghosts who, by showing him bleak visions of Christmas future, past, and present, would bring about in him a change to generosity, kindness, and a general warmth toward his fellow man. But this is not that kind of Christmas story, so here, in not too many pages, someone is going to dispatch the miserable son of a bitch with a shovel. That's the spirit of Christmas yet to come in these parts. Ho, ho, ho.


Christopher Moore


#christmas #humor #murder #change

I know two kinds of Christians, those that love and those that love to be right.


Jim Sterling


#christianity #love #right #righteous #love

I loved Duncan and I loved being his mother but I wasn't sure I was prepared to be only his mother. Before we were even married, when Russell and I had gotten our dog, Humbert, I had walked him early one morning, and as I stood on a line for coffee, someone had offered him a dog treat. "I always ask the mommy first," she said, looking at him expectantly. "Oh, I'm not his mother," I said, "I'm just his...friend," and she looked at me with complete contempt. "You're his mother," she had scolded, "Poor dog.


Jennifer Belle


#dog-walking #dogs #motherhood #parenthood #pet-owner

One evening, at the time of the Six-Day War, I [Christopher Hitchens] had my wicked way with a lovely lady, who had earlier intimated that she did not perhaps find me entirely repulsive. We procured a decent room, as I remember, at the Cadogan Hotel. Perhaps a little flown with wine, I asked her to don a Martin Amis face mask which I had—with a combination of sticky tape, elastic bands, cardboard, and a much-treasured photograph—prepared earlier. The fair damsel was happy to oblige, and thus attired she permitted me to embark on the hugely agreeable pathway to libidinous fulfillment.


Craig Brown


#martin-amis #six-day-war #love

They should." "Should be like a wood bee," she said. It was a private joke, a mocking appreciation of the slipperiness of even the simplest hope, a nonce catchphrase like so many others lifted from favorite movies or TV shows that served as a rote substitute for conversation and bound them like shut-in twins, each other's best and, most often, only audience.


Stewart O'Nan


#conversation #hope #movies #pop-culture #tv-shows

I'll go get the horse and buggy," you'll say. And I'll say, "But I thought we were taking the hovercraft?


David Levithan


#love #love

Tad they were too young to die…My Mom was a spitfire—a total accident waiting to happen. I’m like her—I can trip over nothing.” Tad chuckled acknowledging the thought. “My father…he was more serious. He used to give me lectures like no tomorrow, he had a strong sense of who I should be—who I wanted to be and how to guide me, and he was my best friend. It seems like everything I love is just out of my reach now.


Cassandra Giovanni


#walking-in-the-shadows #ya-romance #ya-suspnse #ya-thriller #love

If we found a ticket to Disneyland would you think we should arrest Mickey Mouse?


Diane L. Randle


#bloodlines #crime #drowning #ghost #lost-love

So? There's two of us and one of you, and whenever we feel like it, we can be three. That's love too, you know.


S. Dora


#threesome #love

Fear cannot stay in the same house as Jesus Christ.


Jack Coe


#fear #god #jesus #love #revivalist






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