#hum

if you follow all the rules, you will miss all the fun ↗

— Katherine Hepburn

#inspirational #humor

Well, there it is. That's Jeeves. Where others merely smite the brow and clutch the hair, he acts. Napoleon was the same. ↗

— P.G. Wodehouse

#humor

When you sleep I will creep Into your thoughts Like a bad debt That you can't pay Take the easy way and give in! ↗

— Morrissey

#lyrics #music #humor

Psychologists call this habituation, economists call it declining marginal utility, and the rest of us call it marriage. ↗

— Daniel Gilbert

#humor

Sebastian it is. You can tell me what a patron saint is later, since I have no knowledge of such things. Sebastian Kane. "Sebastian Kane Cannon. You're going to marry me and use my last name, right?" "Is that supposed to be a proposal? ↗

— Christine Feehan

#children #humor #marriage-proposal #humor

An eternity of wishing to speak directly to my Creator - I thought in despair - and this is how He finally contacts me? Through AOL Instant Messenger? ↗

— A.M. Jenkins

#religion #humor

I’ve been waiting my whole life to fuck up like this. ↗

— Robert Stone

#humor

I think we have different value systems." —Arthur "Well mine's better." —Ford ↗

— Douglas Adams

#science #scifi #humor

You know where we got stuck? We were looking for faithfull, loving and perfect relationships-males who were always glad to see us." "So?" "We already have that!" "What do you mean?" "We've got dogs! ↗

— Joan Bauer

#humor #peeled #humor

It's not wrong to hustle hustlers. It's like killing murderers, a public service. -Damon Salvatore ↗

— L.J. Smith

#damon-salvatore #diaries #elena #elena-gilbert #gilbert