#hum

Somebody left a pair of baby shoes on a bench. I would have taken them home, if only they weren’t too big for my feet.  ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#baby-shoes #bench #bizarre #feet #funny

I think there is a song out there to describe just about any situation. ↗

— Criss Jami

#connection #humanity #inspirational #life #music

The day my mother gave us the keys, she also made me and Greta sign a form so that the bank knew our signatures. To get in we had to show our key and sign something so they would know it was really us. I was worried that my signature wouldn't look the same. I wasn't sure when that thing would happen that made it so you always signed your name exactly the same, but it hadn't happened to me yet. So far I'd only had to sign something three times. Once for a code of conduct for the eighth grade field trip to Philadelphia, once for a pact I made with Beans and Frances Wykoski in fifth grade that we'd never have boyfriends until high school. (Of the three of us, I'm the only one who kept that pact.) ↗

— Carol Rifka Brunt

#humor #musings #truth #home

Religion has caused more misery to all of mankind in every stage of human history than any other single idea. ↗

— Madalyn Murray O'Hair

#caused #every #history #human #human history

Whatever you do, in the privacy of your own rain shower, is your own business ↗

— Gregory David Roberts

#humor #business

Well-read people are less likely to be evil. ↗

— Lemony Snicket

#humor

You can only be in a bad mood for so long before you have to face up to the fact that it isn't a bad mood at all; it's just your sucky personality. ↗