#hum

Fo’ it be so clear to me now, with my family being black an white, that though we blacks have it very hard fo’ very long, we don’t own suffering. Abuse, slavery, injustice, an tribulation be part of human living. An if there be a question that be worth axing, rather than it be bout white or black, we might be wanting to ax how come it’s always us humans who be suffering an be mean to one another. We might want a be axing that instead. From: "Accidents of Birth Trilogy ↗

— Christina Carson

#love #race-relations #solving-human-problems #family

If the self-help books worked, it would be a shrinking industry not a growing one. ↗

— Steve Maraboli

#humor #life #self-help #humor

I was much affected by the internal troubles of the Punch family; I thought that with a little more tact on the part of Mrs. Punch and some restraint held over a temper, naturally violent, by Mr. Punch, a great deal of this sad misunderstanding might have been prevented. ↗

— Edmund Gosse

#irony #family

The mai tai got its name when two Polynesian alcoholics got in a fight over some neckwear. ↗

— George Carlin

#humor

I believe that ignorance is the root of all evil. And that no one knows the truth. ↗

— Molly Ivins

#humor #truth #humor

[Janco] paused. His eyes held a distant gleam as if seeing into his past. 'My first practice was a shock. I was a cocky smart aleck--' [Opal] 'Was?' [J] 'Be quiet. I'm telling a story here. ↗

— Maria V. Snyder

#storytelling #humor

The baby dove into the room, transforming grotesquely as it landed on the floorin a deft sumersault ↗

— Brandon Mull

#humor

We have to actually choose a name," Kane murmured above her head. "We can't keep calling him 'baby.' When he's fifteen he might resent it. ↗

— Christine Feehan

#children #humor #humor

Bein' rich is having leftovers. Good leftovers make yo' tongue fly outta yo' mouth and smack yo' brains out. ↗

— Paula H. Deen

#humor #southern #food

Screw up my life?" He stared at me for a second and then said, deadpan, "I'm a five-foot-three, thirty-seven-year-old, single, Jewish medical examiner who needs to pick up his lederhosen from the dry cleaners so that he can play in a one-man polka band at Oktoberfest tomorrow." He pushed up his glasses with his forefinger, folded his arms, and said, "Do your worst. ↗

— Jim Butcher

#humor #humor