#hum

We kings do develop a certain ability to recognize objects under our noses. ↗

— Robin McKinley

#observation #royalty #humor

Nobody run off with her,” Roscoe said. "She just run off with herself, I guess. ↗

— Larry McMurtry

#humor

IF you wish to be a writer then don't wait until you write the "great American novel" for they aren't written they are created. If you don't write at all you won't know how "great" that simple book can be. ↗

— Shiree McCarver

#historical-romance #humor #interracial-romance #satyrs #shiree-mccarver

She pushed him onto the couch and straddled him... Min swallowed "the thing is, im going to spread. Hips, thighs-" "Not till nine-thirty," Cal said trying not to picture her. "-waist," Min said then stopped. "What? nine-thirty? Not till my forties, probably, i think i can fight it off that long, but then-" "What?" Cal said. "Im going to get fat," Min said, and he blinked. "Er. Im going to get fatter." she frowned at him. "what did you think i meant?" "for future reference," he said starting to laugh. "if you're sitting half naked on my lap and you tell me you're going to spread-" "No! I would never say that!" she said. ↗

— Jennifer Crusie

#humor

That's it...I'm completely giving up on boys and concentrating on staying alive. ↗

— Samantha Young

#love-triangles #romance #humor

I entered his apartment without being invited, which is perfectly fine if you're not a vampire. ↗

— Lisa Lutz

#humor

Spelling bees? Spelling bees do not scare me. I competed in the National Spelling Bee twice, thank you very much. My dad competed in the National Spelling Bee. My aunt competed in the National Spelling Bee. My uncle WON the National Spelling Bee. If I can't spell it, I know someone who can. SO JUST BRING IT ON, YOU BASTARDS!! ↗

— Kristin Cashore

#bee #father #fear #humor #scripps

Now, see," Wes said, nodding at my plate, "this is going to blow your mind." I looked at him. "It's a waffle, not the second coming. ↗

— Sarah Dessen

#humor

A friend asks, "Tell me one word which is significant in any kinds of relationship." Another friend says, "LISTEN! ↗

— Santosh Kalwar

#humor #listen #listening #relationship #humor

Maybe if I didn't say anything about what happened, we could get back to the way we were. Ignoring a problem was a perfectly acceptable way to deal with it, as long as both people agree never to bring it up again. ↗

— Kim Harrison

#humor