#hum

You could say sorry," suggested Harry bluntly. "What, and get attacked by another flock of canaries?" muttered Ron. "What did you have to imitate her for?" "She laughed at my mustache!" "So did I, it was the stupidest thing I've ever seen. ↗

— J.K. Rowling

#humor

Magnus, standing by the door, snapped his fingers impatiently. "Move it along, teenagers. The only person who gets to canoodle in my bedroom is my magnificent self." "Canoodle?" repeated Clary, never having heard the word before. "Magnificent?" repeated Jace, who was just being nasty. Magnus growled. The growl sounded like "Get out. ↗

— Cassandra Clare

#city-of-bones #clary-fray #humor #jace-wayland #magnificent

It is my deliberate opinion that the one essential requisite of human welfare in all ways is scientific knowledge of human nature. ↗

— Harriet Martineau

#essential #human #human nature #knowledge #nature

One of the things Ford Prefect had always found hardest to understand about humans was their habit of continually stating and repeating the very very obvious. ↗

— Douglas Adams

#humor #interesting #humor

I've always been very interested in the struggle for human rights, not just here but abroad, and I wanted to be an inside player in that struggle. I wanted to make the laws reflect our ideals and ideas in this democracy that is America. ↗

— Leah Ward Sears

#always #america #been #democracy #here

Frank stared at him. "Unfair? You can breathe underwater and blow up glaciers and summon freaking hurricanes-and it's unfair that I can be an elephant?" Percy considered. "Okay. I guess you got a point. But the next time I say you're totally beast-" "Just shut up," Frank said. "Please." Percy cracked a smile. ↗

— Rick Riordan

#humor

Anybody who has survived his childhood has enough information about life to last him the rest of his days. ↗

— Flannery O'Connor

#childhood #humor #southern-authors #southern-writers #writing

Do you mean ter tell me," he growled at the Dursleys, "that this boy—this boy!—knows nothin' abou'—about ANYTHING?" Harry thought this was going a bit far. He had been to school, after all, and his marks weren't bad. I know some things," he said. "I can, you know, do math and stuff. ↗

— J.K. Rowling

#humor #ignorance #math #humor

In Ireland, you go to someone's house, and she asks you if you want a cup of tea. You say no, thank you, you're really just fine. She asks if you're sure. You say of course you're sure, really, you don't need a thing. Except they pronounce it ting. You don't need a ting. Well, she says then, I was going to get myself some anyway, so it would be no trouble. Ah, you say, well, if you were going to get yourself some, I wouldn't mind a spot of tea, at that, so long as it's no trouble and I can give you a hand in the kitchen. Then you go through the whole thing all over again until you both end up in the kitchen drinking tea and chatting. In America, someone asks you if you want a cup of tea, you say no, and then you don't get any damned tea. I liked the Irish way better. ↗

— C.E. Murphy

#humor #ireland #tea #humor

Who are you?" he asked. I am the future queen of this world, at the very least. You may refer to me as Mistress Koboi for the next five minutes. After that you may refer to me as Aaaaarrrrgh, hold your throat, die screaming, and so on. ↗

— Eoin Colfer

#fun #humor #megalomania #world-domination #humor