#hum

She stared at his sharp teeth and swallowed the lump that formed in her throat. “Um, you look scary when you show your…uh…teeth. They look really sharp.” He didn’t get angry. In fact, her words seemed to amuse him greatly. “The better to eat you with,” he teased softly. Tammy’s heart flipped inside her chest. “That’s a bad joke, right? Please tell me you’re just kidding.” “I’m not a wolf.” “I’m not wearing red.” “I still want to eat you. ↗

— Laurann Dohner

#tammy #valiant #humor

Life is hard and then we die! ↗

— Barbara Johnson

#humor

Aim high. You may still miss the target, but at least you won't shoot your foot off. ↗

— Lois McMaster Bujold

#humor #humor

I got Oedipus off the incest charge--technicality, of course--he didn't know it was his mother at the time. ↗

— Jasper Fforde

#oedipus #humor

If this is the way Queen Victoria treats her prisoners, she doesn't deserve to have any. ↗

— Oscar Wilde

#humor

I was behaving, just like I promised, but fate intervened. ↗

— Katherine Paterson

#humor

In this nasty-ass strip club bathroom full of pissing dudes and possible rogue ejaculators, Shades is no longer some guy I love fucking. He’s some guy I fucking love. ↗

— Kendall Grey

#lewd #humor

sticks and stones might break your bones, but cement pays homage to tradition. ↗

— Estelle Getty

#humor #italian #patrillo #sicily #sophia

Only after the words were spoken did she realize what she had said. "My sins are all your fault, Brodick, and if I have to go to purgatory, then by God, you're going with me. Ramsey, if you do not stop laughing,I swear I shall toss you over this cliff." "Do you love him, lass?" Father asked. "I do not," she answered emphatically. "It isn't a requirement," Laggan pointed out. "I should hope not," she cried. "But it would make your life easier," he countered. "Gillian, you will tell the truth," Brodick demanded. He grabbed hold of her hand. She tried to pull back, but he wouldn't let go. "I have told the truth. I don't love Ramsey, and if he doesn't stop laughing at me, the Sinclairs will soon be looking for a new laird." "Not Ramsey," Laggan shouted so he could be heard over Ramsey's laughter. "I'm asking you if you love Brodick." "Did you tell Father I love you? Who else did you tell? ↗

— Julie Garwood

#love #humor

I guess its time you officially met the lost boys," I said to Daniel. "Lost boys? You mean like that old Kiefer Sutherland movie? "What? No, I mean like Peter Pan and the lost boys." "Is she calling us fairies?" Asked Slade. "No," Brent said. "She means the lost boys that never wanted to grow up, and got into mischief with Peter Pan." "Still sounds like fairies to me." Slade crossed his tattooed arms in front of his chest. "Still sounds like that Kiefer Sutherland movie to me." Daniel smirked. "We were in the play together, like, seven years ago. You were mad because my mom made you wear tights, but you wanted to be a pirate." Daniel held his hand up. "Partial amnesia here, remember? I must have blocked out any and all recollections associations with said tights." Brent, Zach, and Ryan laughed. Slade almost cracked a smile. ~ Grace, Daniel, and The Lost Boys ↗

— Bree Despain

#humor