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#hum

Read through the most famous quotes by topic #hum




I really am happy for Kiley. And for you and every other happily married lady. Except for that I'm not happy for you. I kind of want you all to drop dead. ↗


— Rainbow Rowell


#jealousy #marriage #truth #humor

As a rule of thumb, it was always safer if the Commander-in-Chief formulated a risky plan. ↗


— Rowena Cherry


#award-winning #grievous #humor #novel #romance

To my way of thinking, there is every bit as much evidence for the existence of UFOs as there is for the existence of God. Probably far more. At least in the case of UFOs there have been countless taped and filmed and, by the way, unexplained sightings from all over the world, along with documented radar evidence seen by experienced military and civilian radar operators.>> ↗


— George Carlin


#religion #ufo #humor

Topher Brink: I'm working! What are you doing? Besides being... Adelle DeWitt: Being what? Topher Brink: Wait a minute... Adelle DeWitt: Sarcastic? Unfeeling? British? Topher Brink: It's an animal. Adelle DeWitt: Where? Topher Brink: No, the word! Adelle DeWitt: Still you have to admit, I am... very British. I don't say hard R's. Topher Brink: You know what I like? Brown sauce. What's it made of? Science doesn't know! Adelle DeWitt: It's made of brown. Topher Brink: Brown. Mined from the earth by the hardscrabble brown miners of North Brownderton. Adelle DeWitt: Oh, my God. I find lentils completely incomprehensible. What the sun-dappled hell is Echo doing at Fremont? Topher Brink: That's got nothing to do with the drug, which means our problems are huge and indomitable. Adelle DeWitt: Ooh. I could eat that word. Or a crisp. Do you have any crisps? Topher Brink: You haven't seen my drawer of inappropriate starches? C'mon, c'mon, c'mon, c'mon! Adelle DeWitt: Oh my god, I'm having such a terrible day. ↗


— Joss Whedon


#humor #humor

Palestinian and Israeli leaders finally recover the Road Map to Peace, only to discover that, while they were looking for it, the Lug Nuts of Mutual Interest came off the Front Left Wheel of Accommodation, causing the Sport Utility Vehicle of Progress to crash into the Ditch of Despair. ↗


— Dave Barry


#international-relations #israel #lug-nuts #middle-east #palestine

I like that: a little pressure on the understood boundaries of yourself. Sounded like something out of a self-awareness class, probably with yoga. See what kind of a pretzel you can tie yourself into and press on the understood... I was raving, if only to myself. ↗


— Robin McKinley


#humor #self-awareness #yoga #humor

Okay, I think it's time for another distraction" Eight says, disappearing again. He reappears by the outer circle of stones, plants his hands on an upright slab, and pushes hard. All I can do is watch in horror, frozen to the spot. The huge stone wobbles and slowly tips backwards, then the horizontal slab on top falls too, and that's when Eight starts yelling, "Help! Help! The stones are falling over! Stonehenge is falling down!" I will kill him. I clench my fists at my side, which is when I realize I still have a small rock in my hand. I lean down and carefully, pointlessly, return it to its spot. ↗


— Pittacus Lore


#humor #marina #seven #stonehenge #humor

And then everything was in the hands of gravity, which has never had much love for the terminally stupid. ↗


— Mira Grant


#siblings #zombies #humor

Well, Mr. Frankel, who started this program, began to suffer from the computer disease that anybody who works with computers now knows about. It's a very serious disease and it interferes completely with the work. The trouble with computers is you *play* with them. They are so wonderful. You have these switches - if it's an even number you do this, if it's an odd number you do that - and pretty soon you can do more and more elaborate things if you are clever enough, on one machine. After a while the whole system broke down. Frankel wasn't paying any attention; he wasn't supervising anybody. The system was going very, very slowly - while he was sitting in a room figuring out how to make one tabulator automatically print arc-tangent X, and then it would start and it would print columns and then bitsi, bitsi, bitsi, and calculate the arc-tangent automatically by integrating as it went along and make a whole table in one operation. Absolutely useless. We *had* tables of arc-tangents. But if you've ever worked with computers, you understand the disease - the *delight* in being able to see how much you can do. But he got the disease for the first time, the poor fellow who invented the thing. ↗


— Richard P. Feynman


#humor #programming #humor

Does this mean I get to be part of the team?” She clapped her hands again. “Yes,” Nate said. “No,” Gabriel said at the same time. “Duuuude,” Nate said to Gabriel between his teeth. “I really want to talk to this Mr. Brooks guy.” “Fine.” Gabriel sighed. “Let her help. I don’t care. But if you die,” Gabriel pointed at Heather, “or get cursed or something, that’s your fault.” Heather nodded merrily, still clapping. “Yay, I’m part of the team.” “We’re not a team,” Gabriel said through gritted teeth. Heather ignored him and looked at Nate. “I think we need a team name.” “Ooh! Good idea.” Nate pointed a finger into the air. “How about Team Awesome?” Heather wrinkled her nose. “Too vague. Team Super Secret Fountain Seekers?” “Too specific.” Nate shook his head. “Team Ash Guy Hunters?” “Ashman.” Heather shook her head. “Too hard to say.” Nate scoffed. “And ‘Super Secret Fountain Seekers’ is easy to say?” Gabriel huffed and started walking toward the door. “You guys can stay here and pick a name and a Team Captain or whatever, but I’m going to find Mr. Brooks.” He opened the door to leave, night falling on the forest around them. Heather said, “Mr. Brooks doesn’t open his door when it’s dark outside.” She shrugged. “So we’re going to have to wait until tomorrow after school.” Frustrated, Gabriel closed the cabin door on the setting sun. “Tomorrow then.” “Perfect.” Nate nodded, shifting his eyes from Scarlet, to Gabriel, and then to Heather. A moment passed. “I call dibs on Team Captain,” Nate said. Gabriel rolled his eyes. ↗


— Chelsea Fine


#humor






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