#hum

Every quote is like a Picasso. The meaning is different for each person and half the admirers miss the true intent and twisted humor of it all. ↗

— Shannon L. Alder

#sayings #humor

Why was I mad? Because he'd surprised me with a really nice hotel room. What a bastard. ↗

— Laurell K. Hamilton

#humor

So what does that actually mean?' 'To be honest, Ghastly, I haven't a bull's notion.' 'Elder Bespoke should be addressed by his full title,' Tipstaff said. 'Of course,' Skulduggery said. 'To be honest, Your Highness, I haven't a bull's notion. ↗

— Derek Landy

#death

In fact, now you mention the subject, I have been very bad in my own small way. I don't think you should be so proud of that, though I am sure it must have been very pleasant. ↗

— Oscar Wilde

#pleasure #wickedness #humor

Her husband, Rafael, who'd left her and who'd contributed not one penny to his children's welfare, was a fool of such dimensions that he should have been required to dress like a jester, complete with silly hat and curled-toe shoes. ↗

— Dean Koontz

#humor

He came up to me and kissed my neck, cupping the side of my face with his hand. He whispered, "Now give me your keys" "Over my dead body. ↗

— Elle Parker

#humor #seth #humor

Having realized that her affection for Sinclair went far beyond friendship, there was only one thing for her to do. She took off her hat and banged her head against the nearest lamppost. Also realizing she was drawing attention from passerby, she put her hat back on and resumed walking. ↗

— Shirley Karr

#romance #shirley-karr #friendship

That tried and true aphorism: Each day is precious. Each day is a gift. If we don't open the wrapping carefully, we might break it and have to return it to the store. And then they're going to ask for a receipt and throw a total shit fit if we've left it at home, and we'll have to call the manager over and give him a good talking-to, and of course eventually he'll relent and tell the clerk to give us full credit, but by then we'll be so upset that we've wasted an hour of our time that we'll end up with a migraine and having to spend the rest of the day in bed, completely defeating the whole idea that each day is supposed to be precious and so forth. ↗

— Eric Garcia

#humor

I know the fucking Bible, and there ain't no fucking Book of Leviathan. ↗

— Dan Simmons

#humor

Poppy: What makes you think I'm having dinner with you? Jake: Because you can't sit in your room and eat ice cream and chips two nights in a row. You'll get scurvy. You need vitamin C. ↗

— Sarah Mayberry

#humor #romance #humor