#hum

A wise man once said that any human being is capable of infinite achievement, so long as it’s not the work they’re supposed to be doing. ↗

— K.J. Parker

#humor #humor

I gaped at what I saw next. She yanked his arm off and ate it. Gross! I knew she was hungry, but that was just...well, against the school rules for one thing. ↗

— Imogen Rose

#paranormal #humor

The cat arrived with a bottle of Scotch. ↗

— Christopher S. Wren

#humor #whiskey #humor

He sees me when I'm lying. He hears me when I flirt. ↗

— Candace Jane Kringle

#humor #teen-romance #humor

Sometimes you've gotta humor the old people. ↗

— Jennifer Brown

#old-people #humor

My sense of teasing is completely lost on you.", Patrick said, hoisting himself back up. "It's a shame too. Most people tell me my sense of humor is my best quality, only outdone by my otherworldly good looks. ↗

— Nicole Williams

#patrick #humor

If ever there was something she needed to stick around and fight for, Luc was that something. ↗

— Rachel Gibson

#humor #rachel-gibson #romance #see-jane-score #humor

Throughout our history, humanity has been plagued with questions, and also plagued with regular plagues. I don't know much about biology, so I can't speak to actual plagues. However, I can answer all kinds of questions: moral, ethical, job-related, child rearing, party etiquette, romantic, technological, stuff about boobs, and my three faves: How do I have sex with someone and not talk to them again?, Can you hit a kid for a very, very good reason?, and of course How do you get a self-righteous asshole to shut the fuck up, even if they're right? ↗

— Eugene Mirman

#humor

Some days life just wasn't worth the trouble of chewing through the leather straps on the straitjacket. ↗

— Katie Maxwell

#humor #humor

Above all else: go out with a sense of humor. It is needed armor. Joy in one's heart and some laughter on one's lips is a sign that the person down deep has a pretty good grasp of life ↗

— Hugh Sidey

#humor