#hum

Perhaps not," said Will, who had ears like a bat's. "But I would make a radiant bride. ↗

— Cassandra Clare

#humor #sass #will #william-herondale #humor

But you hardley even know him"she said."He could be a serial killer" "I did have that thought.I checked the apartment out,but if his got an ice cooler full of arms in it,I havent seen it yet.Anyway he seems pretty since. ↗

— Cassandra Clare

#humor

So you killed him with what now?" "I tried that Dr. Phil book at first"..."And I finished it off with the toilet seat. Just so you know, you left it up again. That drives me crazy. ↗

— Jesse Petersen

#zombies #humor

A pair of werewolves occupied another booth. They were eating raw shanks of lamb and arguing about who would win in a fight: Dumbledore from Harry Potter books or Magnus Bane. "Dumbledore would totally win," said the first one. "He has the badass Killing Curse. ↗

— Cassandra Clare

#humor

I know the universe has a sense of irony, and sometimes you get reminded just how sadistic that can be. ↗

— Laurell K. Hamilton

#humor

...personal torture instructor...I mean physical therapist. ↗

— Simone Elkeles

#humor

The remnants of my dress hung like tentacles and from my back arched a pari of towering wings, feather-light but suggesting enourmous power. My hair streamed behind me, and I knew that the ring of light around my head would be brighter than ever. “Holy crap!” Xavier blurted ↗

— Alexandra Adornetto

#humor #humor

Never tell anyone to be careful, never ask what that noise was, and for the love of God, never, ever say that you'll be right back." —Evelyn Baker ↗

— Seanan McGuire

#humor #humor

The internet is just a world passing notes around a classroom. ↗

— Jon Stewart

#internet #humor

Someday you'll remember what I said and you'll thank me for it." Francie wished adults would stop telling her that. Already the load of thanks in the future was weighing her down. She figured she'd have to spend the best years of her womanhood hunting up people to tell them that they were right and to thank them. ↗

— Betty Smith

#betty-smith #humor #thanks #humor