#hum

It was also, however, a favorite place for novices to stand and wait for innocent students to slip up by talking too loudly between classes. No novice has ever been created that could keep Gina quiet, however. ↗

— Meg Cabot

#humor

Hellooo.” I held out my arm. “An amethyst woman with blue hair is telling you this.” She reached out and scraped her short nails over my arm. I snatched my arm back. “Ow.” Not body makeup.” She frowned and peered at the roots of my hair. “A good die-job or you’ve really got blue hair.” For now,” I said. “I’m half Drow.” She raised an eyebrow. Dark Elves.” Uh-huhhhh.” During the day I look normal, like you.” With an amused look she held up her arm, showing her dark, golden skin. “You’re Kenyan and Puerto Rican? ↗

— Cheyenne McCray

#humor

Who in their right mind counts the tiles on the floor when they go visiting a neighbor? ↗

— Tom Upton

#young-adult #humor

Reed: "What's up?" Vanessa: "There must be an accident or something." Reed: "I'm the accident." Vanessa: "I couldn't agree more." Reed: "What I meant was, those people out there are waiting for me. ↗

— Jenny O'Connell

#jenny #o-connell #plan-b #reed #vanessa

The BALLPOINT PENGUINS, black and white, Do little else but write and write. Although they've nothing much to say, They write and write it anyway.... ↗

— Jack Prelutsky

#humor #poetry #humor

Ask any comedian, tennis player, chef. Timing is everything. ↗

— Meg Rosoff

#humor #humor

Six flights up I smelled it. Faint at first and then gradually stronger - the eye-watering stench of fermented sugar. I felt like I was walking into a distillery, and that clued me in as to who we were visiting. [...] I'm still waiting for some brave soul to start marketing Gremlin Piss Schnapps. ↗

— Kelly Meding

#humor #humor

Don't ask me when I first mastered the obvious. ↗

— John Burdett

#humor

Sleep with one eye open and one hand on the jewels. ↗

— Madelaine Montague

#humor

Rachel had decided he WAS handsome during their hike to the camp. Though the way he kept telling her to speak more quietly or to look where she was going was annoying. By the time they finally got there, she was beginning to think his looks were his only good attribute. ↗

— Teri Hall

#looks #teri-hall #the-line #humor