#husbands

Husbands lie, Masha. I should know; I've eaten my share. That's lesson one. Lesson number two: among the topics about which a husband is most likely to lie are money, drink, black eyes, political affiliation, and women who squatted on his lap before and after your sweet self. ↗

— Catherynne M. Valente

#lies #money

Women writers make for rewarding (and efficient) lovers. They are clever liars to fathers and husbands; yet they never hold their tongues too long, nor keep ardent typing fingers still. ↗

— Roman Payne

#fathers #husbands #liars #lovers #lying

The best way to get most husbands to do something is to suggest that perhaps they're too old to do it. ↗

— Ann Bancroft

#best way #get #husbands #most #old

The calmest husbands make the stormiest wives. ↗

— Thomas Dekker

#make #wives

Women must not shout back when their husbands come home and shout at them for any reason. ↗

— Indra Devi

#back #come #home #husbands #must

I should like to know what is the proper function of women, if it is not to make reasons for husbands to stay at home, and still stronger reasons for bachelors to go out. ↗

— George Eliot

#function #go #home #husbands #i

It was all Mrs. Bumble. She would do it," urged Mr. Bumble; first looking round, to ascertain that his partner had left the room. That is no excuse," returned Mr. Brownlow. "You were present on the occasion of the destruction of these trinkets, and, indeed, are the more guilty of the two, in the eye of the law; for the law supposes that your wife acts under your direction." If the law supposes that," said Mr. Bumble, squeezing his hat emphatically in both hands, "the law is a ass — a idiot. If that's the eye of the law, the law is a bachelor; and the worst I wish the law is, that his eye may be opened by experience — by experience. ↗

— Charles Dickens

#funny #husbands #law #marriage #matrimony

American husbands are the best in the world; no other husbands are so generous to their wives, or can be so easily divorced. ↗

— Elinor Glyn

#best #divorced #easily #generous #husbands

I don't like writing straight-up thrillers. I like writing about families hurled into crisis and danger - soccer moms and regular dads and husbands who might have to rescue their daughters or who are, say, hedge fund managers and have one foot on the sidelines watching their kids and the other in nefarious cover-ups and conspiracies. ↗

— Andrew Gross

#conspiracies #crisis #dads #danger #daughters

You can make a lot of money in this game. Just ask my ex-wives. Both of them are so rich that neither of their husbands work. ↗

— Lee Trevino

#ask #both #ex-wives #game #husbands