#i

Why do Jewish divorces cost so much? They're worth it. ↗

— Henny Youngman

#divorces #jewish #much #why #worth

I am aware that my name has been connected with all the bank robberies in the country; but positively I had nothing to do with any one of them. I look upon my life since the war as a blank, and will never say anything to make it appear otherwise. ↗

— Cole Younger

#any #anything #appear #aware #bank

I want it understood that all these men fought for principle, not for plunder, and that they were true-hearted, honorable soldiers, fighting for what they esteemed was a righteous cause. ↗

— Cole Younger

#esteemed #fighting #fought #honorable #i

Politics and power is a realm of relative influence. ↗

— Fareed Zakaria

#politics #power #realm #relative

The people of western Missouri are, in some respects, very peculiar. We will take Jackson county where I was born for instance. In that section the people seemed to be born fighters, the instinct being inherited from a long line of ancestors. ↗

— Cole Younger

#being #born #county #fighters #i

The world may believe as it pleases. ↗

— Cole Younger

#may #pleases #world

The secret of a happy marriage remains a secret. ↗

— Henny Youngman

#happy #happy marriage #remains #secret

Some people ask the secret of our long marriage. We take time to go to a restaurant two times a week. A little candlelight, dinner, soft music and dancing. She goes Tuesdays, I go Fridays. ↗

— Henny Youngman

#ask #candlelight #dancing #dinner #go

I've got all the money I'll ever need, if I die by four o'clock. ↗

— Henny Youngman

#clock #die #ever #four #got

I told the doctor I broke my leg in two places. He told me to quit going to those places. ↗

— Henny Youngman

#doctor #going #i #leg #me