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Henny Youngman

Read through the most famous quotes from Henny Youngman




Do you know what it means to come home at night to a woman who'll give you a little love, a little affection, a little tenderness? It means you're in the wrong house, that's what it means.


— Henny Youngman


#affection #come #do you know #give #home

I told the doctor I broke my leg in two places. He told me to stop going to those places.


— Henny Youngman


#humor

I once wanted to become an atheist, but I gave up - they have no holidays.


— Henny Youngman


#atheist #become #gave #holidays #i

When I read about the evils of drinking, I gave up reading.


— Henny Youngman


#drinking #evils #gave #i #read

If you're going to do something tonight that you'll be sorry for tomorrow morning, sleep late.


— Henny Youngman


#going #late #morning #sleep #something

When you battle with your conscience and lose, you win. -Henny Youngman, comedian and violinist (1906-1998)


— Henny Youngman


#life-lessons #humor

The secret of a happy marriage remains a secret.


— Henny Youngman


#happy #happy marriage #remains #secret

I told the doctor I broke my leg in two places. He told me to quit going to those places.


— Henny Youngman


#doctor #going #i #leg #me

While playing golf today I hit two good balls. I stepped on a rake.


— Henny Youngman


#golf #good #hit #i #playing

You have a nice personality, but not for a human being.


— Henny Youngman


#human #human being #nice #personality #you






About Henny Youngman

Henny Youngman Quotes




Did you know about Henny Youngman?

Those are my rules. As his fame passed into legendary status he never considered himself aloof or above others and he never refused to perform a show in a small venue or unknown club. He was quoted in an interview with the Web-based magazine Eye: "I get on the plane.

A typical stage performance by Youngman lasted only fifteen to twenty minutes but contained dozens of jokes delivered in rapid-fire fashion. His best known one-liner was "Take my wife—please. "
In a time when many comedians told elaborate anecdotes Youngman's comedy routine consisted of telling simple one-liner jokes occasionally with interludes of violin playing.

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